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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Guess my Price

There used to be this nonsensical calculation you do in school to see how compatible you are with your crush. It's called the AEIOU. You write you and your crush's name, count the number of As, Es, Is, Os and Us then add the left figure to the right and so forth till it dwindles to a figure below 100. If it's a high percentage, you get a thrill. If it's low, you doubt if the method is accurate in the first place.

Today, there is a viral post in forums around China calculating the price of a bride. Expect outcries from feminists, but men including myself will do the calculation for entertainment and fun.

If you are facing a dilemma, unsure if she's The One. Don't flip a coin, make a calculated risk. This one's for the boys.
My Market Value

I'm 158.
+ 150 (oh no, was contemplating short hair!)
+ 300 (lap dance counts for extra?)
can't sing
47kg = 96 jin so i guess nothing to add nor minus for the weight
-200 (my degree is 500)
Dumped and got dumped.

-300 (am 26)
no medical condition

+300 (i don't need to be awesome right?)
I am definitely mature
+200 (extra points because his friends usually love me)
+100 (i nag like his mum)
+100 (definitely not possessive)
i prefer shopping alone

Usually, quarrels never bother me so i won't make the first move to find him first.
+ 100 (oh yes, boyfriends talk me to sleep literally)
+ 100 



I barely make normal! 

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So i did a similar price list for the girls.

Cure Pimples without Creams

I had a friend who told me she smeared OXY on her entire face before bed. Her skin today is AMAZING, but i can't quite believe smearing her face with OXY helped her achieve what she had today.

I personally use pimple creams like Differin, it is dispensed by dermatologists.

It wasn't effective. I found Isotrexin, also dispensed by dermatologists alot more effective. Except, it is super drying.
So dry that my face peels and make-up can't conceal.

I found Balance, a sebum control essence by Porcelain Face Spa.

Made up with 50% Sodium Hyaluronate, a natural substance with the ability to hold up to 1000 times its weight in water, Balance Essence has super hydrating properties without over-moisturizing your skin.

This is because it helps your skin locks in its own moisture at the cellular level, thus preventing excessive moisture loss and at the same time, provide a strong defense against aging and environmental damage.

Extracted from the Horse Chestnut Tree, Esculin has been widely used in cosmetics formulas to treat varicose veins broken capillaries due to its ability to strengthen blood vessels.

It is also a powerful anti-oxidant, prevent premature aging of the skin. It is useful at regulating oil secretion, balancing skin’s pH level and inhibiting catabolic enzymes that causes loss of skin’s natural collagen.

I've been using this the last few weeks where there're pimples or i feel there's gonna be an outbreak.

After a night's sleep, the swelling actually went down or that pimple never did appear!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Shop at Zalora

Meet Lauren Fristcher and Roslyn Johnson, newly appointed fashion buyers for Zalora Singapore.
After studying fashion merchandising at the University of Louisiana, Lauren started her fashion career in New York working with Christian Louboutin, Marc Jacobs, Diane Von Fustenberg, Zac Posena and Anna Sui. Later, she worked with Vogue, GQ, Elle and Harper's Bazaar.

Then, there's Roslyn. A former Saks Fith Avenue buyer, Roslyn has worked with international luxury brands from Burberry and Missoni to streetwear mainstays G-Star and Diesel.

With credentials like that, we know that Zalora is going to bring style and class at affordable prices to Singaporeans.
Maintaining class in a sexy outfit is very important.
Having almost anything and everything for both men and women, stocks international labels like House of Harlow (by Nicole Richie), Desigual, Sass & Bide, Eva Franco, Rare London, Vero Moda, Betsey Johnson, Winter Kate, and Jack & Jones. Prices for the branded labels are competitive while other items can be found as low as below SGD 10.

Lauren and Rosalyn are also working hard in bringing other international labels like American Apparel, Zara and more this year. I hope for Ted Baker!

The job of a fashion buyer sounds glamourous, but is it?

According to Lauren, fashion buyers do travel abit but it's just 3-4 times a year for trade shows. They don't take business class, they don't stay in suites. Its not as glamourous as we think. They work long hours due to liaising with brands from all over the world. Can you IMAGINE the different time zones?!

Why then do Lauren and Roslyn still look so radiant and not like a panda?

Because they are judged by their dress sense so you probably wouldn't catch them in anything not fitting for a fashionista. After all, they have to look the part.

Even though the fashion trend right now is pyjamas on the runway.
If pyjamas is accepted on the red carpet, i'm sure Singaporean's widely critiqued tank tops, shorts and slippers combination is certainly fashionable on Orchard Road! Zalora's fashionistas think it's the climate.

However, the fashionistas advise for our Singapore climate, boys can wear tailored shorts, loafers and buttoned down shirts. Like Ryan Gosling.

Well now, no matter how i google, i can't find Gosling in such getup. I did instead find this...
Maybe that's what summer fashion means to Roslyn!
For girls, Lauren suggests the Nicole Richie look for our climate. Maxi dresses, flow-y, bohemian.
When asked what would the fashion trend be in 2020, Rosalyn believes it'll be a comeback of present fashion. Seeing how fashion recycles itself with bell bottoms (70s), high waisted bottoms and even in recent months, bra-lets.

"So long as the pyjama fashion don't return!" Quips Lauren.
Roslyn certainly hopes loose fitting blouses, silk fabrics and blazers will remain in fashion forever though. These are her favourites and fashion staple.

Fashion staples also know as basics are no longer just tank tops and black dresses. I learn from Roslyn that dressing with age is going classic and timeless like Chanel.
Chanel's Cruise Collection- Swimwear.
Lauren believes that women should dress for women because they simply appreciate fashion better. However she noticed that with the figure hugging mini dresses, Singaporean women dress for men. She feels that men are truly attracted to confidence. The momentary attraction to your Herve Leger knock-off? It won't lust last.

So if you have that confidence? You'll rock that harem pants.
Fortunately, for the confidence-not-200% Singaporeans, there's Zalora.
$132 from Betsy Johnson.
These harem pants still look sexy to boot! Best of all, why Zalora is different from Asos and other sites,

10% discount when you input CHRISFAN upon checkout. It's the GSS sale now on with up to 70% off! Discount code expires 30 June.

Oh yes, and we do judge fashion buyers :P

Let's talk about Sex

We squirm at the thought of our parents still having an active sex life in their golden years. We deny the fact that they had sex for our existence. I even doubt if my parents know anything other than missionary.

Asians have a lot of sex, maybe even more so than our Western counterparts (with so many sleazy business available) but few talk about it. It's not easy to share this aspect of our lives; children, grandchildren and friends often react with disgust.

But we should.

Why? So we share information and become aware of pap smears (to conduct once every 3 years once sexually active), cervical injections and STD prevention.

It's not kiss and tell, sharing amongst the sisterhood, we can relate, dissipate and distribute this energy which can hopefully create a meaningful social change or phase shift.

From my overtly inquisitive nature and blessed with an attractiveness that makes people feel comfortable divulging, i found that

1) I am not the only one who grew up in a household where boys were favored

While it is less common in present days, there is at least 2 of my girlfriends who faced the same as me. Older people have an abundance of experience but are very often ignored. I spoke to some women born in the 50s and found that they had it much worse with the gender inequality!

Some were dressed up as boys as toddlers, some were not even given a name because the father couldn't be bothered to. It jerked a tear or two hearing the latter comment.

2) Most women don't enjoy giving oral sex
but the ones who do says it makes them powerful.

3) First marriages before the 80s were often loveless affairs fueled by tradition and duty with a begrudging tolerance of extramarital affairs
Its funny how society have evolved and modernized in some ways yet in other ways still have much to change. For a start, there are no longer arranged marriages in Singapore but there still are couples who marry because they want to move out of a parent's home or because they're no more fresh flowers. "Want to get a HDB?" is still a proposal line for many.

You would think that in modern times, a woman has no need to tolerate extramarital affairs but surprisingly many women still do, including myself.

4) Sex was for reproduction
Before the 80s, not many women have sex for enjoyment. This makes them sound like animals really. Today, women are enjoying sex as much as men do and in fact may be even having more.

I had a friend who was excited about being deflowered on her wedding night and couldn't stop asking around for tips. However, after her wedding night when I probed her for her experience, she shrugged her shoulders and said "sex is overrated." Thereafter, she refused to speak again about sex.

It must have been a bad first time. She isn't helping herself by being tight lipped about it.

5) Not all women orgasm
I met a lady who at age 65 still has not orgasm and finds she isn't losing much. If you hadn't won lottery before, you wouldn't get hooked on gambling. For women, there are many other ways to make us feel satisfied. Like shopping and spas.

From all the stories heard, i realised that Asian women tend to live very much for others than for themselves. They are born to be the least favored sex in traditional culture, therefore striving to win favour in their parents and society. They then blossom to be ladies and start living for their boyfriends, tolerating cheating ways or staying with less-than-perfect choices. Soon after, they become mothers and live for their children, husband and family.

When then do women start living for themselves?
Don't let social obligation stand in your way.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

WTH, Eat a Dick!

Staying true to my nomination, here's a post to make you go "What The Hell!"

I usually rewrite from inspirations but this is one story that should be copy and pasted in its true word with my quips and additional research photos in between. Behold, not for the faint hearted.


I was eating my glutinous rice when i decided to look up the story Alvin mentioned. 

From, the best article available.
It's not fair! A 140 character tweet in Japanese can be that long! 
[Please Retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen [$1,250]. I’m Japanese. The organs were surgically removed at age 22. I was tested to be free of venereal diseases. The organs were of normal function. I was not receiving female hormone treatment. The length at full erection was 16.1 cm [6.3 inches]. First interested buyer will get them, or I will also consider selling to a group. Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location. If you have questions, please contact me by DM or e-mail. 
On Sunday, April 13, Tokyo illustrator Mao Sugiyama(who goes by the nickname “HC”), publicly seasoned and braised his own genitals on a portable gas cartridge burner, and then served them to five eager diners who each paid about $250 for the meal (a sixth was a no-show). The genitals had been returned to the asexual Sugiyama, frozen and double-bagged in plastic, following elective genital removal surgery on his 22nd birthday on March 31. 

After initially considering eating them himself, Sugiyama offered the meal on Twitter in mid-April to the first person willing to pay 100,000 yen (about $1,250).

But after the notoriety that his tweet caused, he organized a public banquet, dubbed “Ham Cybele – Century Banquet,” at the “Asagaya Loft A” event space in the Suginami Ward of Tokyo. “Century” in Japanese is a homophone for the Japanese word for “genitals”; “Ham Cybele” refers to the Anatolian mother goddess, prefixed with an appropriate word for tough meat to create a phrase whose initials match Sugiyama’s artist name of HC.
That's his illustration style.

The day before the event Sugiyama tweeted, “I’m starting to thaw them out,” and posted this photo. 

Are you ready?

On the day of the event a crowd of about 70 mostly twenty-somethings gathered, five to a table, to listen to a piano recital and panel discussion before the dinner.
Although only five servings of the genitals were available, the other diners were served alternate beef- and crocodile-based dishes. The cooking was done by Sugiyama himself, dressed as a chef, under the supervision of a licensed food preparation specialist.
The five genital eaters comprised a 32-year-old male manga artist (there for “research”), a 30-year-old white-collar couple (who were “curious”), an attractive 22-year-old woman (who wondered how it would feel), and 29-year-old event planner Shigenobu Matsuzawa, who tweeted before the event, “It’s a once in a lifetime chance, so I decided on the spur of the moment to do it.” Matsuzawa posted a detailed blog post on April 14 after the banquet, including about 20 photographs (the source of our photos here). 
He boasted on Twitter that he was getting twice the traffic he’d gotten when his blog was once profiled on prime-time Japanese television. But on May 19 he suddenly deleted the post and replaced it with a new post explaining that the removal was due to privacy considerations. Sugiyama himself had linked to and seemed to endorse the blog post.
Diners were required to sign a waiver releasing Sugiyama and the event organizers from any liability arising from the consumption of the genitals. Sugiyama stated that before his operation he had been tested to be free of any venereal diseases (although during the panel discussion he admitted that he had gone on a one-month sex binge with anonymous internet partners just to make sure he wouldn’t regret the operation). He stated that he had not yet started receiving female hormone therapy the time of the operation. He also added that the pre-severed penis could attain an erect length of 16.1 cm (about 6.3 inches).
This is exactly 16.1 cm,  i was curious.
Although the erect length shouldn't matter because the chopped off penis would not be erect. There's VERY LITTLE to eat to be honest.
Close-up photos of the braised genitals showed a sliced penis shaft with clearly visible corpora cavernosa and urethra, a sliced testicle with the look and texture of sea urchin sushi, and scrotal skin with about 3 mm of pubic hair growth. Rounding out the presentation the chef garnished the genitals with button mushrooms and Italian parsley.

Are you ready?

Strangely enough, i'm munching on KoKo Krunch as I'm writing this post.
Spot the 3mm hair growth like chicken skin!
Sugiyama told the tense but giggly crowd during the pre-dinner interview that he would be contributing his genital recipes to the Japanese recipe website 
A photo from Sugiyama’s Twitter stream of two large, meaty balls together on a plate has been misidentified by some websites as his testicles. They are actually beef steak cubes that Sugiyama used to develop his recipe before the real event.
Are you scrutinizing the difference? I did.
Fr left to right: testicle, scrotum, penis.
What was the verdict by the eaters? According to the deleted blog post by Matsuzawa, the hard, rubbery penis root almost bent his fork, and he spit it out after a few chews. The only taste was of the red wine that it had been pre-stewed in. The scrotum was surprisingly even harder and more rubbery than the penis, but tasteless. (Matsuzawa didn’t mention the pubic hair.) The testicles were hard on the outside, soft and glutinous in the middle, with a fishy or gamey taste.
At this point, my glutinous rice started heaving.
One of Matsuzawa’s friends in attendance asked for a piece of the penis and ate it, but after the event became distraught and expressed regret that he had lost his common sense in the heat of the moment.
Sugiyama had also intended to include his nipples on the menu, but his attempt to burn them off with sodium hydroxide did not result in anything usable.

Are you ready?

A spokesman for the Suginami police told CalorieLab that they had received many inquires and complaints from concerned citizens, but that they were unable to pursue the matter because there is no law prohibiting cannibalism in Japan. Nevertheless, the spokesman said, “We’re going to talk to the people at Asagaya Loft A and ask them what is going on and why they hosted such an event.”
Sugiyama has not posted any photos of his post-operation crotch area, but in a tweet he responded to a question by saying that surgeons created a urethra opening for urination in front of his anus at the lowest spot of his crotch, not in the front as you might expect. Looking at a side view illustration of the male reproductive tract, this looks like a logical exit point to minimize the length of the urethra, and perhaps it’s the best position for using a sit-down toilet.
Sugiyama is cheerfully answering questions from curious Twitter members about Ham Cybele, his operation, and especially his new corset, which he’s wearing to help maintain an androgynous shape as his female hormone therapy progresses (the hormones are for “health purposes”). 
He tweets that his surgery cost him 1 million yen (about $12,500). He reports that video of the Ham Cybele event was taken and that it and a written “Ham Cybele Official Report” will be available at a later date.
On his Twitter stream and personal website Sugiyama affects an etherial, artistic persona, and considers the shedding of sexual paraphernalia a step towards a higher plane of existence. Ironically, photos of the event and tweets to him afterwards suggest that getting his sex organs removed made him into something of a chick magnet. Attractive 20-something Japanese women can’t seem to get enough of him. footnote:

[We used the male singular pronoun "he" throughout this post. Sugiyama self-identifies as asexual, neither male nor female, and aspires to be so devoid of sexual features that he will be able to publicly wear transparent clothing. Sugiyama appears to fall into the gender nullification class of male-to-eunichs sometimes called "smoothies," those eunuchs who have elected to remove their penises and nipples in addition to their testicles, without replacing the removed organs with surgically created female organs. There are proposals to create a new pronoun for this asexual "third sex", which we reckon will happen around the time that asexual restrooms appear in Walmart.]

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Marina Bay Sands 24/7

Marina Bay Sands: Asia's most popular integrated resort and an icon of Singapore's skyline, i see it with a fresh pair of eyes after visiting the underground labyrinth underneath the 57 floors, 194 meters tall building.
With over 2,500 rooms and a US$5.7 million price tag, MBS has a 9,000 strong army to keep it ticking around the clock.  For example, the bakery within the kitchen does not stop work at all.

Little did the guests above ground floor know what goes on underneath.

Especially to Lady Gaga who lives in a similar suite (SGD $8K - 13K a night) as this when she visited last year.

The floor that doesn't exist to hotel guests, it's like another city and a much futuristic society below. Going underground has also made me realize that any business is really about the people behind it, or in this case, beneath. Without people, there wouldn't be any business.

The 24/7 Uniform Room stores and sorts over 100,000 garments including uniforms, scarves, aprons and ties.
The team works around the clock to tailor, press and attach electronic tags to the garments, which are then sorted out in a conveyor belt system to be collected by uniformed staff, all fully automated and organized.
Feeding the Masses
 On a typical day, team members consume 200kg of rice, 1,200 kg protein/ meat and 1,500 kg of veggies in the staff dining room. This is equivalent to the weight of a female Asian elephant.

As the Executive Chef of Marina Bay Sands, Christopher Christie oversees the entire 400-strong culinary team at the integrated resort. Chris is responsible for making sure the 43 individual kitchens deliver an average of 15,000 meals a day.

I ask the chef some questions.

Me: Overseeing a massive amount of food daily, do you still get hungry? You may already be visually full!

Chef Christie: I actually rarely sit down to have a proper meal at work. I am often on-the-go, tasting food throughout the day for quality control.

For every minute you stand on your feet, you burn 7 calories. For Chef to stand and eat, he must hardly store any fat!

Me: Does it hurt when you see food wastage?

Chef Christie: It does! I don't take it personally but i do investigate. If not the taste, then is it because the portion is too big? Food wastage is a huge issue in our industry and the Marina Bay Sands vision is to go green. We create awareness in the staff dining room, so that's the start of education!

Me: What's the oddest food concoction you were asked to prepare?

Chef Christie: Peanut butter and apple! Both uncooked, as is, was the weirdest combination ever requested. As a chef, it's the most unlikely pairing. I was curious, so yes i did try after the customer was gone, but no it didn't taste good.

Such requests however spurs me in daily experimentation to discover new combinations and flavours. We're currently working on durian creations, not my most favourite fruit but Singaporean's!

Merely a sneak preview of a Chef's life (large scale responsibilities), there'll be an episode on BIO: The Biography Channel where real drama will unfold as the Marina Bay Sands banquet team prepares an 8 course meal for 5, 000 guests.

In comparison, William and Kate's Royal Wedding only had 1,500 guests and they didn't even have a sit down meal at the Buckingham Palace but mere canapes.

Marina Bay Sands 24/7 is an 8 episode series that gives viewers an unprecedented and exclusive look into the "Heart of House".

Behind this series is Chris Humphrey, Executive Producer across all original content produced across the South East Asia region for AETN All Asia Networks.
Me: How real is Marina Bay Sands 24/7?

Chris: Nothing is scripted at all. Every line you hear, they're all impromptu. We were very fortunate to be able to pick 12 of the 30 staff who we auditioned to be key characters in the series. 

Fortunate indeed, as the 12 staff were really charismatic and a natural in front of TV. As i said, the people make the business. Similarly for a show, you need good people too!

Me: In your years of creating biographies, which was your most favourite and who inspires you?

Chris: Tan Sri Datuk Amar Dr P Ramlee, a Malaysian film actor, director, singer, songwriter, composer and producer was my proudest film to date. It sparked alot of emotions and local talk, it touched many hearts which touched mine.

I look up to business figures like Tony Fernandes, founder and CEO of Asia's first low-cost carrier AirAsia and Ho Kwon Ping, founder of Banyan Tree Holdings. I admire them because they aren't just business men but the passion and the drive behind their doings is commendable.

13 years in Singapore, while Chris loves the little red dot for its location amongst many other things, kiasu-ism is still something he hasn't come to terms with.

And no, he still hasn't succumbed to using Kleenex to chope his seat.

Watch Marina Bay Sands 24/7 starting 31 May, 9.30pm on BIO channel.

Blog Awards 2012

Having an annual blog award ceremony alleviates the whole blogosphere entirely. Like the Grammy, we doll up and walk the red carpet, and, Blog Awards 2010
Blogger Star studded at Blog Awards 2010
and all.
Steven Lim and his entourage, Blog Awards 2010
It really is quite something to be a finalist
and even made into a standee which i looted home after the awards.
Blog Awards 2011
This is my third year running for the What-The-Hell category and true Award style (like how Rolling Stones asks Keira Knightly or somebody) I'm going to be a schizo and interview myself.
1.    How do you feel about being one of finalists in Singapore Blog Awards 2012?
1.    When did you start blogging and what drew you to it? Where do you get inspiration for your blog content?
I started in 2006 because i went abroad to live. Initially, i dissed blogs because i thought it was an oxymoron of a diary. But then i secretly orgasm every time someone leaves a comment on my blog, whether a friend or a friendly passer-by. So i do like the attention and my literary works appreciated. Here's my inspiration to be a great blogger.
2.    How do you feel about the other Finalists in your category this year? How do you think you will fare compared to them?
I haven't really checked everyone out because it isn't about winning, but participating. There's some new talent discovered there and thank you Aussie Pete for giving up the throne to us.
3.    Give a reason why readers should visit your blog and vote for you?

My best What-the-Hell posts for 2011 are here,
for 2012, i've short-listed:

Inside a Duck Den
Sex Volunteering
Apple of my Eye: movie and reality
Tantaliazing Japanese Game Shows
Writing my first children's book!
Deadly Farts

Lessons from a Russian Strip Club
Eating Blind at Dans Le Noir

Granted, they may not all make you go what-the-hell, but they certainly make me go what-the-hell in a personal context. I hate to copy-paste things found over the internet, I rather create compelling stories of my own!

So there you go,

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Tips on How to Dress For the Flat Chested

Boob shrine in Japan. People go there to pray for breast milk, to cure cancers. I bet the most popular request is enhancements! It's big boobs everywhere nowadays. Boobs define women, it IS how you differentiate from a man. Besides, breasts scream sex. Men and women alike hanker after bigger than A cup breasts.

But big don't mean perfect.
Woman with N cup size bed ridden for 6 months. Read here.
Here're reasons why small chested women should be proud, confident and happy with their size:
1) You don't look fat
2) Your boobs won't sag
3) You look classy 24/7 and not slutty 24/7
Just check out Kiera Knightley. I always thought she's small chested, but i found one photo of her with her mammaries enhanced. Big boobs doesn't quite suit her though.
Even with her small chest, men has voted her as the sexiest women in the world. She came in tops in 2006 FHM poll, beating Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson all whom have 2 cup size bigger.

4) You can fit into any clothes easily (especially smaller sizes)
5) You won't be oogled at 24/7 (less self conscious)
6) You have dainty nice bras instead of huge cups like this 
So long as your boobs aren't raisins or a airport runway, you ought to be satisfied with the way your body is.

Dressing well is all about refining the art of distraction and illusion. You get that right, and you have overall image balance. Lets admit it; breasts are a major focal point (men to the point of blindness), so if your lacking a bountiful bosom, read on. And the below don't need any chicken fillet or Nu Bras as the man in my earlier post taught. In our humid weather, they won't stick on! 

One of the simplest is to have any detail around the bust area i.e. pockets, buttons, or patterns. Collars and wide lapels are good too as they draw the eye upwards towards the face, away from the empty space!
Photographed by Dominic Khoo
Flat chested woman can also wear double- breasted jackets and high necks (avoid if your chin has a twin) and look great, whereas on full busts, these can look chunky and ruin your look.
Often, small -breasted woman have great arms, so get those short sleeved tops and singlets on and draw attention to those great lithe limbs.
Photographed by Dominic Khoo
Also, if you haven't got the chest, then flaunt elsewhere! I always found the shoulders and back sexy.
One of my cardinal rules is to never flash too much. However, if one is flat chested, even if you wear something that is bare at the top and bare at the bottom, you will hardly look trashy.
This is a best kept secret. I feel that when you wear drapey dress/tops, it is very flattery on your bust.It hardly shows any cleavage yet it hints of one.
Make something out of nothing.
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