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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Deadly Farts.

My older brother loves to fart in my younger brother's face. It may be a silly boyish joke (men do take more pride in their farts than women), but subconsciously it could be a sign of dominance? Like how my male rabbit humps the other male rabbits head (i don't think it's really asking for head).

People make jokes about farts and farting all the time.
It actually is no joke, it could be a deadly matter.

A 30 year old man in Denmark is walking a little more gingerly lately, after a minor surgery to his buttocks turned into a smouldering mess.
The man was laying on an operating table in a local hospital having a mole removed from his buttocks. The doctor was using an electric scalpel to remove the mole and cauterize the incision, when the man passed gas. The electric scalpel combined with the methane gas was enough to create a spark that ignited the surgical spirits covering the man’s genitals, setting them on fire.
The man, who is now suing the hospital, said: “When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell. Besides the pain, I can’t have sex with my wife.”
Surgeons at the hospital said: “It was an unfortunate accident.”
So, don't take a fart lightly. 
Know your farts.
Prevent unfortunate accidents.

The best fart facts scoured from the Internet...

What are Farts?
Farts are aerosolized poop. The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening, the tightness of the sphincter muscles of anus. This sounds quite like a turn-on. 

The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.

Can you Make a Living from Farts?
Like the Aunties from Phuket who make a living with queefs, a highly specialized kind of fart that comes from the genitalia of a woman, Le Petomane was a professional farter who could whistle tunes, blow out candles and send flames across the stage in the 20th century.
It may be unbelievable because it's before our time, but Jack Ass proved it's possible in modern times too.

Is it really possible to ignite farts?
The above news article would already have proven it possible but we wouldn't know if it's credible news until....

Seeing is believing. We now know that farts burn because they contain methane and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame.

Do Animals Fart?
Yes. We know that dogs and cats fart but cows, horses and elephants do too. Even turtles and snakes. They all have intestines and anuses.

Science Projects to Try

You may win an award in discovering theories!

1) How much gas does a normal person pass per day?
Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell. 

2) Is it possible to capture farts and store it? Hey, you may be able to sell it like how the Japanese buy saliva in veils.

Fart into several plastic bags and seal them carefully. Then fill several other plastic bags with ordinary air. Wait 24 hours. Then get volunteers to smell the contents of the bags to see if they can correctly identify which ones contain the farts. This should tell you if it is possible to store a fart in any useful way.

Tips in Farting
Now, these tips are how to fart politely, after all we are in a civilized society and we don't live on a Jackass film set.

1) Clenching your sphincters will make your fart audible. The more you clench, the louder and longer sounding it is. So relax your muscles when you feel one coming!

2) Eating a protein rich diet like meat, soy, beans and eggs will make you fart more. Don't leave your mouth hanging too often (no gawking at boobs) as the more air you swallow will make you produce more air too.

So, can smelling a fart kill you?

Whilst it hasn't killed a human, soldier termites can actually turn themselves into bombs by detonating themselves via the explosive release of gas and feces, a process called "autothysis."


Anonymous said...

I know for a fact that farts are no laughing matter. My cousin Dea, her farts make me pass out. Luckly, she dont fart very often.

Anonymous said...

Thankfully she is not a sister whom u live with!


Anonymous said...

I agree. That would be toture.but she already cones over every week. and she always threatens to fart if I don't do what she wants.

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