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Friday, January 28, 2011

I guess i am afraid to say, to get more of me, follow me on Twitter. Blogging is still my first love, but inspiration only strikes when i am shitting. And lately, i am experiencing constipation.
Ever wonder about those people who spend $3 on those bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. Follow me on Twitter now.

Snakes and Ladders.

It's ironic how something so simple can be made into something so complicated. The process of courtship is important and women will always be interpreting "signs" of how much a man is into her.

After all, it is indeed true that when a man isn't all that into you, his actions tell.

Here is my interpretation of the dating game, numbered for better illustration.

1) This is a sincere beginning and it shows that he thought of you on purpose, asking you out well in advance. He also has good social manners.

Although i am all for spontaneity occasionally, i do plan my week in advance. I have encountered men who ask me out vaguely without giving a specific date. They say "maybe we do something on Friday" or "let's see closer to Saturday". I usually do not take them into consideration. Then they complain that i am uptight and rigid. They even say i treat them like a business appointment! I am not running a welfare clinic here, where you walk in as and when you want, dude.

2) When he asks on that day, he is probably feeling lonely or bored and he thought of you. Weeeell, we needn't be too uptight about it and if we have nothing to do too, GO FOR IT.

Just bear in mind that this is then probably just CASUAL.

The Date
3) If he takes you to the food court on the first date, he is a miser, unwilling to "invest" until he knows what's to happen is guaranteed.

A man who likes and wants you enough will instinctively take a woman to a nice place on a first date. This is to a) create a good first impression, b) to say that he is able to provide. Then again as we all grow up, hopeless romantics (who place alot of emphasis on a first date) are fading.
4) If he asks you to a club or KTV, he wants a playmate. In a noisy place like this, there is hardly any opportunity to have conversations, which is very important to the start of any relationship. However, it need not necessary be always a movie and dinner combination. Have the best of both worlds, do something fun yet with opportunities for communication.

You can go ice-skating (better if either one of you can't skate as well, there's an excuse to hold her/his hand), theme parks, or a social event. Social events is a great way to see how your date interact with other people.

5) This is the play safe date routine. 99% men will ask me out on a movie + dinner date. The 1% who suggests something different usually piques my interest more. It makes me think, "hey, you're different." or "hey, you really did put in much thought for this."

Then again, a simple movie and dinner date can also be enjoyable. Just that we are probably going to be in the crowds at Orchard Road, doing the exact same thing with 999,999 other couples.

Some men use the excuse of being in a dark theatre, to be in close proximity to touch you. Couple of times, i entered the cinema to find myself in a couple seat (no arm rest in between)! That was a rude shock.

I have never experienced the electrifying "our hands touch inside the popcorn bucket" (like the movies) though!

6) Asians don't usually invite each other to their homes on a first date. Increasingly, uninhibited people practice this and it does usually end up being something physical.

As my Asian male friend says, when he texts a woman "I've got a bottle of wine at home. Do you want to come over to watch a movie?" It's a booty call. This is the cheapest date possible with a likely possibility that you get some at the end of the date.

I am not sure if it means the same with Westerners, but it could be different because once an Italian invited me to his house for dinner, i told him I don't pay house visits. He later on apologized saying in his culture, it shows sincerity in cooking dinner for a date. Well, i wouldn't know if it's true or if it was a clever cover-up.

Saying Good Bye

7) If he says good bye to you on the road, this is definitely the friend route. He does not want to spend another half an hour more with you, he is too lazy to go back and forth. There can be some saving grace, if he SMS or calls you after to check if you're safely home. At least he has some manners and he does somewhat care about your safety.

8) Usually, if your date drives, he sends you home. If he doesn't, and he offers to take you back in a cab, that's a very generous and gentlemanly gesture. He is into you for sure, if he actually asks to travel with you via public transport back home. He wants to spend an extra hour with you. If i am just as interested, i will agree. If i am not, i will decline because sending me home via public transport seem too close for comfort.

Ok, i lost interest writing about this already. The more i look at those arrows, the more my eyes swim. Why is dating so difficult to decipher.

Pictures photographed by Dominich Khoo,

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Panty Guide

In the female shower room, I like being a voyeur. I look at breasts, I look at asses, I look at panties. I was surprised to see many older women actually wearing sexy lingerie! The judgmental side of me went “Woah, Aunties also know how to be sexy leh. But their ass is saggy, but again, she is wearing sexy underwear!! How does she know how to?!?”

When I visited Hong Kah Point (Blk 501-508, Jurong West) over the weekend, I figured out how Aunties knew about staying sexy underneath. It’s because, in the heartlands, lingerie as tantalizing as Victoria Secrets or La Senza is being sold! And when it’s $1.90, do you think the Aunties will think twice?!?
The Bra House: Without a fancy store name, you pay 1/10 the price.
 My colleague spent $79 for a g-string in lieu of her first night of consummation. That’s for a measly piece of cloth that is barely covers. It may be a French brand, but I believe the $1.90 found in the heartlands will also garner a standing ovation. The men can’t tell!

Another girlfriend only wears cotton because she always thought her husband felt lace and bright bold colours scream slut and so she stays virginal with pastel cotton panties like a school girl (if her husband is turned on by that, it's a sign of a paedophile).

Like finding the right bikini to suit your body type to choosing the right clothes to accentuate body parts, here’s the Panty Guide for sex appeal. And because it’s Chinese New Year, I picked red on purpose. Be lucky, be sexy!

Offering the least coverage, this is virtually invisible under clothes. Wear this if you are wearing a figure hugging or lightly translucent bottom. Visible panty line is a huge fashion boo-boo.

For whom: Be honest. Is your ass nicely rounded and cellulite free? If it isn’t, the G-string isn’t for you when without clothes on.

Comfort level: 2/10 you will often feel something is up your ass, literally.
Please avoid butterfly mortifs like this though. It makes you look like a hooker.
Also known as a T-back, a lot more comfortable than the g-string, the thong is a sexy little no-show. It offers a hint more coverage than the G, yet perfect under the most revealing fashions.

For whom: Same as the G

Comfort level: 5/10 sometimes it can still get scrunched up and you will again feel something is up your ass, literally.

Now, the cheeky is as the name implies. A little panty with lots of cheek peek. More back coverage than a thong but less than a bikini. The perfect pick for when a little reveal is all you want.

For whom: The ones who are honest enough to admit they don’t have a nice ass but thick skinned enough to insist on showing her ass.

Comfort level: 10/10 almost as comfy as a period panty


The underthing for everything. It’s the most common type in any panty wardrobe. Make it sexier with a string option instead of the usual band.

For whom: anybody and everybody, mostly pubescent girls, where they buy in box packs.

Comfort level: 10/10

Briefs/ Hip huggers
These border on a thin line between sexy and frumpy. Wait, forget sexy, you can’t make this sexy unless you look like a Victoria Secrets angel. Even if it’s lace or in never-fail-black. Looking very much like grandma panties aka girdles, these ARE the period panties.

For whom: anyone having the time of the month. Note: not time of her life.

Comfort level: 10/10 only that your confidence and sexiness level will plummet to 1.

The best for the last, this is the MOST flattering for all body types. It’s a sure-win combination. Lace + boy shorts cut. It’s comfy, it’s cute and it gives a very flirty silhouette.

For whom: Flat asses get the illusion of a perk ass. Huge asses take the attention away from it being big. Perky asses, speechless.

Comfort level: 10/10, this is NOT period panties.

The right Lingerie can Make a Woman
feel Confident & Sexy.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Girl Next Door

I grew up in a heartland and still am residing in a heartland. After living in a heartland for decades, I have not considered living out of one. What is uniquely Singapore in the heartlands are

A) Putting clothes out on a bamboo pole

B) Self created English, “under the void deck”

We heartlanders might not have exclusive pools or gyms, but we sure have a lot more to gain from. We might even feel a lot safer than in a condominium that has aging weak security who naps or wanks (I saw this at Holland Village, seriously! Another story for another time). However, we DO face the occasional shoe thief or the inconsiderate upper floor neighbour whose laundry drips.

Cold Storage, The Market Place are choices private estates will get their groceries. $2.10 for a packet of tao gei (raw bean sprouts) compared to $0.10 for the same amount in the heartlander’s wet market.

We are proud to be a cheapskate, that’s how we get rich (or try to).

Hong Kah Point (Blk 501-508, Jurong West) might sound super obiang, super ulu and super unglam but that’s where the best kept secrets are. Which heartland has the prettiest girls? Some people say Ang Mo Kio. Hahaha.

“Under my void deck” consists of over 100 shops and a bustling market and food centre. Korean clothes found in Far East Plaza? You have it here at a fraction. Here’s what you can’t find in Orchard but only in heartlands because it’s not “modern” enough for glitzy Orchard.
Ear picks!
I don’t usually plug music into my ears, but I realized that when I do, my ear wax increases. This is a human’s natural reaction to protect the ear drums (thus it is NOT a good thing to listen to loud music so frequent) and people usually use cotton buds to clear the ears.

However, a friend taught me that it isn’t as healthy using a cotton bud as compared to using the grandma method of an ear pick. Cotton buds actually push the dirt even further in. However when I do feel rich like a Cleopatra, I get ear candling performed. I don’t know how it works and I am not keen to Google, but the objective is to vacuum out the dirt and it helps with your sinus. I do not get it performed too often to really see any effect. But like I said, when I DO feel rich like Cleopatra, a Queen usually spends recklessly.
Getting it done at Millennium walk costs me $38, getting it done in the heartlands? $10. I have to admit I DID fear having my hair caught on fire though. That’s the problem with mankind! We judge based on appearances. Cheap doesn’t mean it isn’t good, talking about sex doesn’t mean you are a slut. Then again, if a deal is too cheap to be true, it probably is so do be careful.

However, it doesn't mean you can't be a smart shopper!
Maxi dresses for $12 when it could be $39 at Bugis.

Daiso in Orchard might have everything at $2,but are they this pretty?

Beauty queen wannabes, glitzy shoes are a MUST in the pageant run. Get them from Hong Kah at $49 and there might even be a sale. Elsewhere, it starts from $79. Even Malaysia.

Don't need KL, don't need Bangkok, here's where you get your fake labels. No wonder almost every Auntie on the MRT has a Gucci.

Wear expensive, carry cheap or carry expensive, wear cheap. No one can tell!

This is my BEST find ever. They're 2 white candy balls but wrapped in a panda wrapper that makes the whole thing look very Kawaii and exclusive! I first saw such in Tokyo and we all unanimously coo "ooh, so cute", "only Japan will have these." Guess what, save the $800 airfare, get a $1.30 train ticket to Hong Kang Point and buy this for only $3.80. You can distribute to your friends and say you bought it from Japan. They will feel honoured that you bought them an EXPENSIVE gift.
I was gutted when i saw this. I bought my bandage skirt from Top Shop for $49, here it's only $16.
What else can you find in the heartlands and nowhere else?
The good old days of Brick Game on road trips.

Ah Ma and her biscuit tins.

I am Asian and i believe in traditional medicine.

So what if the city has fancy bakery names, sometimes we just want cakes where we get to keep the toys!

Every year, during the Chinese New Year period, makeshift stalls will spring up at Hong Kah Point selling all sorts of items from CNY goodies to decorations to fashion, household items and electronics.. I love pasar malams! When I was younger, my elder brother will excitedly come home and tell us he spotted a red tent. This is the code for “Let’s skip dinner tonight!” We will then gather all our friends who live around the neighbourhood and troop down to fill our stomachs with Ramlee burger, Taiwan sausage, tea leaf egg and many more artery blocking food.
Pasar Malams are a rare find nowadays, so if you have any foreign visitors or you are simply craving for the childhood love, head down to Jurong West! It will be there till the end of Feb.

Do you know what is the best kept secret of the heartlands? It's something that costs $39 in the city for something barely there but only $1.90 in the heartlands. Something that can evoke many reactions like pulse racing and mouth salivating.

To be continued...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The MRT Diary

2 September 2010

I forgot to bring my iPod today and I missed the lady who hands out the free morning paper by 2 minutes. With nothing to occupy my mind with, my eyes started roaming and came to rest on a man 2 bodies away. I first noticed his document bag, thinking how rare it is to find a men’s bag that isn’t a) too bulky, b) too gay.

He was reaching for something inside, I took a quick glance upwards, and saw the tell tale signs of a Japanese- obvious single eye lids. I looked back down and learnt that my guess was right as he finally found his papers from within and Japanese characters were written all over. I’m not sure why, but my eyes then trailed down further to his shoes.

They say you can judge a man by his shoes.

How well it’s polished (taking pride in his image and a direct relation to how he takes care of belongings, i.e. you), how he puts it on (hopping on one feet while watching television, i.e. inattentive or using a shoe horn will show how dedicated he will be in foreplay) and how big his shoe size equates to the length between his legs.

I wasn’t thinking about his length (seriously! Not until 5 minutes later), but I was marveling how different (from the common boring black dress shoe) his light brown soft leather shoes looked. It had such nice texture, a slight pointed toe cap and I see a hint of cowboy frills instead of the usual shoe lace. THEN I thought about his length, and wondered if every Japanese man is like in the porn movies (well, he isn’t very tall, and most Japanese men aren’t either, so could it be?).

Feeling ashamed of myself, I looked up to see his face. He sported the unshaven look, his hair was thick, grey and standing up. I’d say he’s probably in his mid thirties. He wore a dark blue tie with simple patterns, and his thousand thread Egyptian thread count beige shirt was buttoned up. Even his shirt looked different. The flaps on a man’s collar usually sticks out, he had small buttons near his collar bone, where he can then neatly button up, making the flaps curve in.

Assessing the entire package, this man might not be the most handsome nor tallest nor engaging (I don’t know this), but I felt like I wanted to know him. I scanned for a wedding ring,

Before I found my answer, it’s time to alight.


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Afford to be a Bagaholic


This Fashion used to be branded to me when i was 13. Then, it was Mango at 19 and at 23, it was Coach and Kate Spade. The first branded bag i bought myself was this Coach in Japan. It was $350 and i am now kicking myself in the foot because can offer so much more at a fraction.

Coach Cranberry Handbag Soho Bag #15204 - S$255
Red is my adult favourite colour. It's a colour that signifies passion and i am an affectionate Scorpio. It is also a colour whereby i know not many like to carry because it's too attention grabbing, which is all the more why i like it. Yes, my self esteem is THAT high.

Do you know that the Thais have a different colour for each day. They wear an item of that colour for that day as part of their culture. However, more people pay attention to the colour of their day of birth. This then becomes their lucky colour.

Sunday – red
Monday – cream/yellow
Tuesday – pink
Wednesday – green
Thursday – orange/brown
Friday – blue
Saturday – black/purple

It's pretty interesting. I found my birth date colour is purple. That happens to be my favourite colour as a child! It's pretty amazing how i evolved from a purple to red. Purple means to seek fulfillment and passion.  Red signifies passion and aggression which i probably have achieved as an adult woman! Just checked with a friend, his birth date colour also happens to be his childhood favourite colour! Go calculate yours here.

After calculating, you can probably go do some online shopping so you have that one item (like a wallet?) you can carry around daily for luck. Haha!
I got my second branded handbag with my own earnings last year. It was a Kate Spade made from Buffalo skin. Again, i kick myself in the foot for blowing $400, and it was supposedly ON SALE!!

candy darling rosalie wristlet - S$139
I do need a new red clutch to replace that H&M i bought in Hong Kong that didn't last too long.
Kate Spade big apple darla - S$104
And a card holder too to hold my countless discount cards because i am a cheapskate Auntie who stores saver coupons in branded holders.

Kate spade iphone 4 hard case (black/white dots) - S$89 
Loves-Coach offers:
- 100% authentic and brand new with tag, authenticity card and gift receipt/photocopy of original receipt. Direct from coach and kate spade factory in USA (not rejected goods)
- Personal delivery to stated address in Singapore for orders S$200 and above. Meet up/self collection for all other amounts. (not via registered mail) So you can inspect the item on the spot
- LovesCoach assumes all responsibility of lost items during shipment and full refund/replacement will be made
- Affordable and lower prices than Coach and Kate Spade in Singapore
- limited pieces per design and colour

Afford class, do not spend what you can't afford.

7 Cruise Survival Tips

I had many preconceptions about going on cruise before i went on one. The fear of tight spaces was proven wrong, and the fear of boredom was not necessary. If you have to set sail, be sure to set sail with the best. Royal Caribbean offers competitive prices.

You can find on board various types of travelers. You have the families of young and old, you have golden age couples who spend their time away easy and slow. The best way to enjoy a cruise however, is to 

1) Find a Good Roomie
The sort who won't mind you taking longer than her in the bathroom. The sort who won't stink up the bathroom after she takes a dump. The sort who would share her toiletries. The sort who is not grumpy in the morning (VERY IMPORTANT). The sort who would look out for you and chope seat at the dinner table.

2) Go with a Fun Bunch of Friends

Because you're pretty much cooped up on board, it is ideal to have groups of 5 or more. The more the merrier, laughing at entertainment and sharing of food (VERY IMPORTANT).

Two soft smooth creamy mounds ;p

Char Sao Bao (pork bun) chips

Yakitori chips and i bought Lychee Pokey.

3) Exercise
Meal time is the highlight of the day for me everyday. Because you can go for second and third rounds at the buffet, the many snack stations and even the fine dining areas, i over eat at EVERY meal time. In order to keep trim and slim, you have to work it out (VERY IMPORTANT).

Running on the upper deck was breezy.

Staring out into the endless ocean, time passes faster on the stepper.

Photo from
Challenge yourself at the walls.

4) Indulge in Duty Free
Everything is paid up front before you embark. You do not need to pay any more bills on board other than your shopping, spa or Ben & Jerry. The best buy i got on board was 2 tubes of alcoholic chocolates (SGD 15), a travel set of CK Men's perfume for my brother (SGD 55) and a DKNY watch (SGD 120) which i saw later at a shop on land costing $200.

5) Be Silly
'Nuff said. Alcohol on board is NOT free.
6) Be Adventurous
Do something you've never done before, eat something you've never tried before.
7) Cam Whore
To keep memories and to prove that the exercises paid off.

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