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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Month in Snapshots

When expats move to Asia to work, their companies compensate them with a "hardship" package. Like our Asian flies, I always found them moving faster and thus harder to swat. Perhaps due to food not easily available, they have to work harder and thus skinnier.

We caught this fly in Europe.
Fries contains 2 cancer causing compounds. Fries Kill, or 
That's One Ambitious Fly, or
I should be a Food Blogger.

So cute till i want to diiiiiiie. Despicable Me with the Cam Whore baby bunnies that popped 30 June.
This is 2 weeks when its eyes slowly opened.

Pocket sized pet.

My blue eyed boy.
Got engaged by Jigo and did some honest reviews. The talk of the town was my Angry Bird middle finger. I read that the creators of the addictive game is coming to Asia to impose their copyright on the fake proprietors with the toys and such.
Will they chop off my finger before i even get to flip them the finger?

Spent my summer across 4 continents in 10 days. It was a passport stamp collecting field day.
Made some Japanese friends and they were very tickled that a girl gave them her name card with celebrity, model, and DJ all in one title. After uploading this photo to Facebook, we realised we have celebrities amongst us too! Hugh Grant and Eric Khoo.

Did a photo-shoot with OMY for the Blog Awards.
Tried gracing the event as a mummy but failed miserably.
I stole the life size standee of myself from the event. It was pretty obvious as i walked out of Shanghai Dolly, a 3kg wood in tow.
My brother who hasn't seen it came home late at night and got a fright. He thought his sister had gone mad, dressed up and stood in one corner waking for him to return. He gingerly stepped forward to make sure if "i'm" real or not. He said if "i" had moved, he would have punched me, regardless.

However i think "i" would've given him splinters.
I myself when alone at home would also think twice about the dark figure standing by the doorway. For a moment, i would think i forgot to lock the door and an intruder came in.

My mum says she wouldn't give it to the garung guni man, for fear he may be pervert and treat me like a love doll.

I think "i" would also give him splinters.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Sex Volunteering

It is with some trepidation to write this post. After all, sex and disability, they are on its own taboo. When put together? It’s a lethal combination. Disabled Sex.

I may be judged for being insensitive, judgmental, stereotyping and much more crude comments by the narrow minded. Yet, I do so because I believe in the power of speaking the unspeakable as a way of decreasing shame, isolation and perhaps even highlight a disappointing façade of mankind.

When Sinema sent me an EDM promoting their latest art film, the title decided my interest. 

The synopsis wrote:
A group of three people – a young female student, Yeri; a disabled handicap, Chunkil; and a priest – gets arrested in a hotel room for suspected prostitution. During police investigation, the group claims that the girl was a sex volunteer. Chunkil, who cannot use arms or legs, has taught himself to become a poet. However, he failed to express his feelings to his first crush. He also fails to meet his online date due to her family’s objections. Feeling desperate and knowing his death is imminent, Chunkil confesses to the priest that he wants to feel a sexual pleasure in his life time. As the priest contemplates Chunkil’s confession, Yeri, a young film student, comes to the light. Yeri, who has made a short film about Red Light District prostitutes, wants to create a film about “sex volunteering” based on her own story. —

Alot of people Googling it.
How much sensuality has a paraplegic person (impairment of motor and sensory)? Can a man with multiple sclerosis (twisted backbone) have an erection? And does a mentally disabled person have sexual needs? There is a lot of uncertainty in the society when it comes to disability. Even more if sexuality is involved. The subject is a taboo even for many parents of disabled children. They can barley leave the role of the watchers, the protectors - even if their children have reached adulthood.

The thought of their son or daughter having sex embarrasses them and is often unimaginable. Sex may also mean reproduction, and thus also transfer - if it is a hereditary disability - of defective genes, which is usually not approved. Or the children are not thought of being able to be potential parents.

The movie demonstrated a mother's love, one that is sacrificial and enduring. I have seen with my own eyes how fathers have abandoned their wife and child, not being able to tolerate his child's disability. After a few years, the men call it quits, divorced and found another woman who can bear him a normal child, hopefully. Of course, there are the real men who stood by their family, then there are the incorrigible ones like I've witnessed.

Mankind is great at feigning ignorance and living in denial. The truth is the disabled ARE sexual beings, as much as you and I. And their needs are not met….until Y2K.
Even more people Google this.
Doing a search, more results on shady business emerge than as a charitable service. In Japan, a sex therapist started a sort of therapy that treats Japan’s long suffering wives. He hand-picks sex volunteers to treat his patients. A team of 40 men, aged between 32-60 and chosen for their looks, sense of humour and ability to listen while the women unburdens herself of the shortcomings of her husband.

Is there then a difference between this touted medical practice and the brothel signage I saw in Tokyo? 
Offering services to Office Ladies, Students and Housewives.
A Japanese marriage seems very odd, if all those text online were found to be true. Married couples have sex just 46 times a year. I have heard many stories about misbehaving Japanese men as well as them who upon touch down would head to Cuppage Plaza for the KTVs equivalent to Orchard Towers. They would also visit Geylang as business entertainment while proclaiming, “so cheap compared to back home.”

The problem among many Japanese men is that fairly soon after they get married, they begin to see their wives as their mothers, there to cook and clean for them. That makes it very hard to find them sexually attractive again. It may not be too far off from Singapore’s culture too. Whether it’s work stress or husbands and wives not maintaining an upkeep, the sexless marriage is driving these women to doctors or psychologists.

Dr Kim charge SGD 200 for an initial two hour interview and the women are given a book containing photos and the personal details of Kim’s volunteers, whom he claims are not gigolos and he emphasized that he earns nothing from anything that happens beyond his clinic’s walls.

The history of a vibrator is also a very interesting one, it is actually invented to cure women of hysteria.

What is a REAL Sex Volunteer?

Sex volunteers, the movie, depicted the main actress having a heart for volunteering for the disabled since young. She would play games with them and do what normal charitable people do. But when she starts spending time with the disabled male for her research, she found it in herself wanting to have sex with him, out of charity and compassion.
That is very novel and admirable, but in reality, the love for charity is different from the love between two normal people.

Should the disabled be discounted on experiencing the heartbeat of pursuit, romance and sex? The main actress and priest helps him with pursing his love (a disabled girl whom he has exchanged emails with but never met). Her parents rejected his proposal because they said he isn’t fit to take care of their disabled child. The discriminated discriminating another discriminated, such a vicious cycle.

The movie taught me not to deprive a disabled of a romance even knowing that he/she may likely to be rejected.

An interview with a Male Nurse, Karl
Lifted from Viceland Today

Karl: I’m a licensed vocational nurse and I work for two patients who is married with muscular dystrophy who were on ventilators, which is why they needed 24 hour nursing care. They were unable to move their limbs or pretty much anything whatsoever. So I basically did anything and everything for them. I cleaned them up, got them dressed, and put them into their wheelchairs. Once they were in their chairs they could drive themselves, but still, in the wheelchairs they could only move around; I was still their hands and their arms.

How long were you helping that particular couple? 
Eight years.

Did you know you would be helping someone give hand jobs when you got hired?
At first it was Jen’s nurse who had been helping them out. When she was going to leave for a different job, she approached me and asked if I’d be cool doing it. So when she left the baton was passed to me. It’s funny; Doug and Jen had her scout me out.

I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of gnarly stuff being a nurse, where does helping two people bone rank? 
The sexual stuff is weird. The stuff you see in nursing school makes you feel prepared for the job, but they didn’t teach you how to help two people have sex.

So tell me about the first time. Was it special? 
The first time you just look at everything and try to figure out the mechanics of it all. For a while you are so busy thinking about how you are going to do it that you sort of forget about what you are doing. But once you get it all figured out and things begin to happen, you start thinking, “I can’t believe I’m doing this shit.” It’s crazy.

Were you putting them in position? Were you putting it in? What were you doing? 
Well they have this track above their bed with a lift attached to it that rolls on the track. Attached to the lift there’s a cloth and canvas sling with straps affixed with hooks. I would put the sling underneath Doug or Jen and lift them up using the lift. It was designed for nurses who are too weak to put them in their chairs. Doug and Jen figured out how to modify it so it works more or less like a sex swing.

Doug could move his fingers, so I would put Jen in the lift and lower her down on his hand so he could wiggle his finger. And then I would get this vibrator and position it in his hand so that it was on the right spot for Jen. So I’d do stuff like that and then I could just leave the room so they could concentrate on whatever they were doing. But for stuff like hand jobs, I had to wrap Jen’s hand around his dick and basically move it myself. Essentially I was just using her hand to jack him off.

Sorry to laugh. That’s insane. 
I was wearing gloves.

Did helping them out ever turn you on? 
No, it never turned me on. I always tried to distance myself from what I was doing.

Did you feel a lot of pressure to give a good hand job? 
Well, I mean, I wanted to give a good one because I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. I was lucky that Doug, as a disabled man, never got a lot of sexual stimulation. It’s not like he was masturbating and stuff his whole life, so he was always a premature ejaculator, which I was very thankful for.

What are some of the gnarlier things that have happened? 
I always wore gloves, but one time I wasn’t watching where I was aiming his dick and he came on my hand. Even though there was a glove there I still felt his cum land on my hand. It was one of the grossest things I felt in my time with them.

Also, doing the whole blow job thing, I’d have to, like, grab Jen’s head and move it on his dick, which is just weird. Like grabbing a girl’s head and forcing it on a dick. It’s just weird and violent and felt really strange. And, because she has muscular dystrophy, she couldn’t really move her mouth. So as soon as he came, it would just run out of her mouth, down her cheek, and into her hair. Cleaning the cum out of her hair was a bitch.

You said it went pretty quick. Did you ever try and get creative with positions?
No, it was pretty much always her on top. He couldn’t really tolerate being in any position other than his back. For some reason–it probably has to do with the disease–Jennifer’s pussy is tight. Like totally small. Like it was always painful for her to have sex. And Doug wasn’t really that big. I’d say below average, actually. But for some reason she could take it in the ass like nothing. She tried toys and tried sticking them in her pussy and she could only take it vibrating on the outside. But for some reason you could shove the thing in her butt like nothing. It was like backwards.

So Karl could get off. Did Jen get off? 
Yeah. I mean they were really sensitive. They could just talk dirty. He could just talk dirty and she’d get off from that. So one time I put them to bed and there was a new nurse and I was showing her the routine and got done putting them to bed. And they had this intercom system where they could call the nurses and be like “Hey” if they needed to be turned in the night or needed suctioning. So Doug and Jen just start doing this dirty talk and they didn’t know it was coming out over the intercom. Because the muscular dystrophy their mouths are always open and their tongues don’t really move the way ours do, so the language was kind of garbled. And they start doing this dirty talk, and the nurse is talking to me about nursing stuff but all I can hear in the background is Doug saying stuff like “Oh my god baby yeah,” and Jen is moaning like crazy.

To be completely honest, it was an absolutely entertaining and amusing read. However, from a site like Viceland, I doubt its authencity. Then again, it does sound very believable.

If the above is true, then it is very lucky to have two disabled people falling in love with each other, but most, fate is not on their side. And so they pay for a service.

After a thought-provoking experience reviewing Air Doll about sex dolls coming to life, I should have thought Sex Volunteers; a film being promoted by an Art House would be just as artsy and not on the real act of intercourse. Alas, my human mind thinks of sex and just sex, I’m blatantly honest that is the real reason why I bought the movie tickets.

Then again, anything can be called art.

Besides, I’m a little demented thus sex with a disabled? I am curious.

Upon entering the theatre, I judged all the 30 other demented people who came in. Most were heterosexual couples, which I immediately assumed they came to watch this film as foreplay. 

One woman in her thirties, hair greying and bespectacled came alone. She must have come because she ain’t getting any.  I am judgmental.

At the end of the 2-hour movie, I was wet. My eyes, and not-where-you-think.  There weren't nudity or explicit scenes, but instead the fictional film gave the hard truth about the disabled and their sexual needs. I was disappointed with the lack of demented imagery, but I was enlighten, educated and deeply touched with the plight of the disabled. Moved enough to be a sex volunteer myself?

Read on.

A sex volunteer for the disabled, as explained by the movie, are people who help buy adult toys on the disabled person’s behalf, help with masturbation or disabled couples like the interview above. They do not engage in intercourse themselves. But of course, the female lead did engage in intercourse because she wanted to experience it herself before making her movie. Her boyfriend broke up with her after being her cameraman.

It reminds me of the true story of Annabelle Chong, the infamous Singaporean who had sex with 251 men for her feminist statement. Anything for the passion of their art.

Prostitutes and the disabled aren’t too different. People judge them because of their appearances.  Do they not have dignity, pride and self worth? Why should society care any less or look them with disdain?
A self determined life, however, also includes sexual self-determination. Whether it’s the disabled wanting to experience sex, or a prostitute who provides sex for a better living, it is you and your strength to determine what you want out of life.

Sinema is showing its LAST show this Sat (7pm), catch it if you can!
Meanwhile, i'll be at the Omy blog awards for the What-The-Hell blog category.

Truly Yours,

Thursday, July 21, 2011

24 Hours in Dubai

My dad insisted i take this picture of him. We suspected it was a conspiracy of Dubai Tourism Board to delay our Emirates flight but it was an adventure welcomed. That's one more passport stamp to collect.
Travellers collect fridge magnets, Hard Rock t-shirts, key chains and even Lonely Planet guides to mark where they've set foot. I thought about collecting men's magazines. Perhaps not a collection to proudly display on the racks in a conservative household but i felt it resonates the local's culture (in a warped way).

I didn't find a local version of FHM, that will probably reveal only the model's silky smooth fair arm, i found this.

Having only 24 hours, without much hesitation, research or hunting around, we signed up for 2 tours from Hotel Millenium's (the airport hotel) lobby. Because of the flight delay, we were entitled to a night's stay full board AND 3 minutes talk time each. It sounded like Prison with the limitation and we debated over who is worthy of the other's minutes.

The first tour was a 2 hour bus ride to see the city's sights. We were herded into a mini bus and they showed us the icons of Dubai from the bus window. They did grant us few minutes of photo opportunities in front of their icons (which are mostly hotel buildings), but no one could last more than 3 minutes outside in the sweltering heat. It wasn't a value-for-money tour (USD 20), but on hindsight, with Dubai's heat, would we want to do more than sit in a air-conditioned bus? If Singapore is bad, think three times of that.
Their bus shelters are air conditioned and amusingly covered with ads.
How do bus drivers see if there're people inside then?!

Again, as a will-do-anything-tourist, there're the pictures to fake an unforgettable summer and that's enough.
The second tour was a trip into the deserts. The brochure clearly over-sold the description, but i thought for a tourist who only had 24 hours, it was representative of the Arab culture.

Camel farm en route.
A 40 minute ride towards the fringe of the desert, we changed vehicles to prepare for a bumpy ride on the sand dunes. Along the way, you may experience sand storm and an endless horizon. We heard horror stories of the SUV sinking into sand or getting stuck and bursting into flames because of ignition, all that made it abit more thrilling and glad you bought travel insurance.
Reaching base camp, we can ride camels (i pity those poor animals) and enjoy dinner with entertainment under the balmy sky filled with stars. The entertainment surprised me, it was innovative and colourful.

The tours were abit of a disappointment, i would have preferred using this 24 hours in the water theme parks (there are many in Dubai). Then again, the brochures may have over promised too.
Unforgettable summer? The feeling of being stranded in a foreign country, wanting to go home so badly but ended up on 2 passable tours? You betcha.

Sui Japanese Restaurant, A Hidden Gem.

It has always been the norm for a gentleman to buy a lady dinner. I turned the tables around this time and took a gentleman out for dinner instead.

Obscurely located at 81 Neil Road (7 mins walk from Outram MRT, Police HQ exit), it is a hidden gem.


I like how the chinese word “drunk” is translated into Japanese, Sui which is the restaurant’s name.

Winning & Tatler. Sui is touted to be Singapore’s Best Restaurant.

Upon arrival, my date exclaimed, “ I’ve always walked by this Japanese place! But never did get to try it.”

I assumed I scored the first brownie point: he is excited.

Sui has a seasonal set menu, offering the finest ingredients of the season. Everything is delicately hand picked and lovingly hand created.

First, we have 2 glasses house-made plum wine. I am not a fan of alcohol really but this plum wine is the BEST I’ve ever drunk. I can down 3 glasses or more, it is a lady’s favourite but my male date surprisingly also likes it’s refreshing citrusy taste.
House-made alcohol beverages are customizable and it takes 9 months to create. Express your creative thoughts to the chef and he will set to work. It’s like delivery a baby! 9 months later, you return (but I bet in between you will keep returning with anticipation, checking the progress of the baby) to finally let your mouth have a taste of it. The best part? If you don’t like it, you don’t have to pay or bring it home. Unlike the real babies, it is not an option as you can’t shove it back in if it’s not cute.

Then we had 2 appetizers, toufu with special century egg sauce and grilled leather jacket (a kind of fish) with mayo dip. It tastes like dried sotong, but it is a lot more fragrant and extremely yummy!
Sashimi, the usual fan fare.
Instead of the usual miso soup that most Japanese restaurants serve with their set menus, we got 2 double-boiled fish head consommé, one with no MSG! It tastes like the kind of soup my mum would do at home, full of wholesomeness, punch and a whole lot of health.
Then we had the Jumbo shrimp (half each). Succulent and springy, prawns are the understated aphrodisiac.
Prawns appear more regularly in erotic cuisine than some other varieties, perhaps because they are a convenient size for mutual feeding. Not.This.Jumbo.Prawn.

The fifth dish was the sautéed Blackshaw pork, it actually tastes abit Chinese. Not oily and flavourful, we finished even the gravy!
Then, it’s mixed nigiri sushi and maki. Mostly seared, they melt in my mouse literally. They are not the usual sushi you get in budget sushi chain, this one has a special seaweed film on top!
We found it odd that we weren’t served rice (typical Chinese) with the pork, but actually I preferred it that way! This way we don’t over-eat, I don’t have to suck in after dinner!

Never eat Indian on a date. Japanese is my favourite cuisine for dates because it’s easy to eat, no oil smearing your lipstick and don’t make you bloated. You can also demonstrate how big your mouth (*wink*) is by putting a whole sushi in, which is by the way how you should eat sushi.
Finally, dessert is served. Homemade peach sorbet and American plum with NO artificial colouring! The American plum is boiled but interestingly the texture is just like jelly! They pick the finest season’s fruits for their deserts, last week was tomato sorbet! Damn, would have liked to try that one.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the best part?
It didn’t break my piggy bank because of the Jigo deal that offers 8 Course Japanese Fine Dining for Two for only $100 $50!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Tourist: 5 Things to know about Venice

1) You'll go into shutter frenzy the moment you set foot into the acclaimed city of love and water. DO NOT be a sua ku tourist and fight with tons of other tourists for that spot. All around Venice, you will GET THE SAME VIEW. 
See what i mean?

2) Venice is essentially a tourist trap. Souveniers and food are more expensive towards the center, as well as the pathways along the canal. Get lost in the maze of Venice and you'll find similar items for sale for 1/3 of the price. I.E. Venetian masks more visible to the public start from 5-10 euro. Obscure alleys sell them for 2 Euro. Gelato costs 3 euro at crowded places and 1 euro within alleys.
Need to put disclaimer: Made in China Italy!
3) Shoebox apartments built at close proximity are Italy's signature way of living.
A slice of Italy!
4) Pee sparingly as it costs $1.50 Euro to enter the public toilet. The hotels do not sport toilets in their lobbys either, so don't be a smart alec. You can however, be a sneaky smart tourist by slipping into busy restaurants and use their toilets. Otherwise, make sure your SGD 3 is worthwhile your fountain.
Venetian biscuits dipped in 'holy' water are only ordered by naive-tourists-who-say-yes-to-anything like me. Tasteless hard biscuits were dipped in strong tasting wine, it was awful and cost 6 Euro.

5) Everthing costs. 25 euro for a 5 hour parking, 50 cent - 2 Euro for a simple city map. Though it may be an expensive day out, at least i could say i've been The Tourist shot in Venice.
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