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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

R21:The King & I.

It has long been a misconception that people from the West are alot more sexual and horny. According to Louise Brown's research and book, it is the Asian men who are driving the sex trade within their own countries.
Out of curiousity (as you would know i have one of a cat's), i googled Chinese Emperors and their harem and here are some pretty interesting finds. This shall make you a whole lot more interested in Chinese history, school teachers should take heed.

A Chinese Emperor's Sex Life
  • The Emperors had many women to keep them occupied (because they hardly leave the palace. Emperors lead a secluded life. They eat alone, at 8am and then at 1pm. With the exception of drinks and a snack in the evening, the emperor often consumed nothing else.)

    One emperor in the 11th century had 121 women (a year has 365 days, so on average you see him 3 days in a year. Talk about a girl's faithfulness, that's why treachery happens) at his immediate disposal, including one empress, three consorts, nine spouses, twenty-seven concubines, and eighty-one assistant concubines. Till this day, China's prostitutes do come with interns and learning prostitues as well (or so i've heard from friends that you can buy one get one free). 
  • Some emperors believed they could gain immortality from having sex with as many women as possible but never ejaculating.
  • Emperors also had male consorts. According to legend the Han Dynasty Emperor Ai said he would rather cut off the sleeve of his robe than disturb his male lover who had fallen asleep on it. Some Chinese still refer to homosexuality as “the passion of the sleeve.”  断袖之癖
  • Imperial women also indulged themselves (you only see your husband 3 times a year, remember?). Empress Wu Ze Tian was a 7th century ruler who was previously a nun and then a concubine and briefly changed the Tang dynasty’s name to Zhou. She had her own harem of men.
Imperial Chinese Concubines

  • Imperial concubinage wasn’t all it was made out to be. One character in the 18th century novel Dream of a Red Mansion said, “how much happier are those whose home is a hut in field, who eat salt and pickles and wear clothes of cotton, than she is who is endowed with wealth and rank, but separated from her flesh and blood.”
  • More than 200 Imperial concubines reportedly died on the orders of the 16th century emperor Shizon, Hoping to escape their fate, 16 members of Shizon’s harem snuck into his chamber to strangle him with a silken scarf and stab him with a hairpin. In the struggle the Emperor lost an eye but survived with the help of his Empress. The concubines were punished nu having their limbs pulled off thier bodies and their heads were displayed on poles.
Chinese Emperor's Sexual Rotation Schedule

  • It was believed that organizing the Emperor's sex life into a regimented order was essential to maintaining the well-being of the entire Chinese empire. The great Chinese calendar clocks of the 10th century were not used to keep track of time but rather to decide the schedule, rotation and time for the women who slept with the Emperor. Secretaries kept record of the Emperor's sex life with brushes dipped in imperial vermillion.
  • In China and some other Asian countries age is determined from the moment of conception not from the moment of birth. The Imperial Chinese believed that women were most likely to conceive on the nights nearest the full moon, when the Yin, or female influence, was strong enough to match the potent Yang, or male force, of the Emperor. It was believed that on these nights children with strong virtues would be produced. As a result the empress and spouses slept with Emperor around the full moon and the lower ranking women, whose main function was to nourish the Emperor's Yang with their Yin, slept with him around the time of the new moon. [Source: "The Discoverers" by Daniel Boorstin]
  • A rotation described in the Record of the Rites of the Chou dynasty (1120-256 B.C.) was as follows: "The lower-ranking [women] come first, the higher ranking come last. The assistant concubines, eighty-one in number, share the imperial couch nine nights in groups of nine. The nine spouses and the three consorts are allotted one night to each group, and the empress also alone one night. On the fifteenth day of every month the sequence is complete, after which it repeats in reverse order." [Source: "The Discoverers" by Daniel Boorstin]
  • Some emperors kept the names of their favorite wives, consorts and concubines on jade tablets kept in their bed chambers. The most active emperors had 50 or more of these tablets. When an emperor selected the woman he wanted he turned over the tablet with her name on a teak table. A eunuch then rushed to the woman's chamber, took off her clothes to make sure she wasn't concealing a weapon, wrapped her in gold cloth, carried her through the palace since she could barely walk with her bound feet and deposited her at the foot of the emperor's bed. The eunuch then recorded the date to verify later whether or not the emperor was the father of any children born to the woman.
Extracted from

It's not me to leave my readers high and dry, so here's a Chinese visual clip, kungfu style (as Chinese are well-known for). Take it with a pinch of salt and Dad, if you're reading this, i hope you have a sense of humour because i do and i come from you.

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