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Friday, January 13, 2012

6 Unique Things to do in Taipei

When in Taipei, you should

1) Deep Throat a Penis Waffle
Located at XiMen 西门丁's main stretch, you will come across a huge sign board on one of the lamp posts advertising this small shop that is almost like a push cart making penis waffles.

To locate the shop, you first need to locate Star Bucks. Star Bucks is a huge building on its own and A Piece of Gayke (I think they meant Gay Cake) is in the alley on the right.
They not only make penis waffles on the spot but they also bake huge pineapple tarts for you to take home as naughty souvenirs. The pineapple tart didn't taste as nice as the waffle.
The waffle, however, though a novelty (and novelty usually tastes bad) was actually yummy! In it was sausage and cheese. And all sausages in Taiwan is unlike the sausages you find frozen in the supermarkets here. They are all rubbery and springy, like the Taiwan sausage you find in pasar malams here.
 2) French Kiss a Duck
Also along the main stretch of Ximen, there is a popular store of seasoned tidbits like innards, bean-curd and duck tongue. It tastes like chicken feet, am not a fan. It's a great prop to practice your french kissing though!

3) Get Knifed
Located at Shilin night market, I chanced upon a commotion where demonstrators were using knives to massage your back. They were charging sgd 17 for a 15 minute massage.
The small massage parlor is called the Museum of Alien Studies. I suppose it's named that because it's absurd to use knives to chop your back. I asked if the knives can be used for slicing and dicing carrots, they said no.

4) Wish into the Sky
It looks like a giant condom, but it's not. It's a paper lantern that hawkers sell along the banks of the lake in Dan Shui.

February is the best month to head to Taiwan if you want to see this beautiful and romantic sight where thousands of lanterns will be released together.

Did anyone notice at 0:13, the lantern burned and floated back down into the screaming crowd set ablaze?

5) Eat out of a Toilet Bowl
The modern toilet eatery is made famous over the internet. Oddly though, not many locals know where it is located. Being Singaporean, i went around asking for 厕所餐厅 (toilet restaurant) and i got a puzzled look. Then i tried  大便餐厅 (shit restaurant) and people started looking at me weird. Finally, someone was able to direct me but i was worried i may end up in front of a public toilet. Later did i know the right term to use is 便所主題餐廳. It is also located near the Star Bucks building, go down the alley beside it and you will hit a car park on the left and the restaurant is on the right.
Most people put the toilet seat cover down, but i lifted it up. It's odd sitting on a hole clothed.

 Ironically, i sat right outside the toilet in the toilet restaurant. That was the sink. Again it was a surprise that a novelty restaurant's food was actually abit above average. Very reasonable priced too! A set lunch costs about Sgd 15 with a steak at Sgd 20.
 Each set comes with a main, rice, tea and ice-cream.
 I ordered curry for after-effect. Hah!
 A hang-over.
Mum never taught me not to play with food.
The only complain was the ice-cream was bland and not satisfying.
 With affordable pricing, the restaurant is usually full so do make reservations!
P.S Tokyo Shibuya has a ER themed restaurant too.

6) Museum of the Strange
I skipped the National Palace museum, the heritage museum and all other official museums. Instead, i hunted down the Museum of Strange in DanShui old street (that's the street name). The street is like another night market with small stalls thronging left and right. Toward the end of the street, you will find this mini museum.
I throughly enjoyed Ripley's Believe or Not museum in Pattaya first, then Genting Malaysia also opened one. There were some replicas from the Ripley's museum but most were fresh exhibits i haven't seen before. It opens till late, depending on the crowd and it costs Sgd 3 only to enter. It isn't a very big museum, but there is plenty to see. I spent 90 minutes in there, 60 minutes used to cam whore.

Housing many exotic animals, i felt sorry for those poor creatures.

A star shaped tortoise, they name it Ninja Turtle.
This was a pig found in Brazil (i think) that had an elephant's nose and a monkey's face. The pregnant pig must have been exposed to radiation.
Like the parasite museum in Tokyo or the forensics museum in Bangkok, this was also a museum where explanations are in the native language. Everything is in traditional Mandarin. My Mandarin may be rusty, but for once i can understand everything, well almost.
Caught in mid sneeze. I'm allergic to this giant bunny.
 Everything's giant there. See giant dick.
 This is a real sized elephant's.
They say rub it for good luck! So i did.

When i wrote about eating whale sperm (mistaken identity), i was wondering how can whale's sperm be harvested. I googled whale penis for ages but could only come up with one picture (click the link) which i wasn't even sure if it's real because its too long for a killer whale. Then i saw the picture below in the museum. I guess it's for real!

A frog that eats mice.
 The museum is thoughtful to cam whores. They have many mini corners for photo opportunities.
 I've seen this in Ripley's Believe or Not museum, but this is a shrunken head. Apparently these beheading and then head-shrinking is real in tribes. Click on wikipedia's link above and see more pictures.
When it comes to strange things, many are associated with sex (predictable).
Here's an animal's condom. Used when vets need to masturbate horses or any large animals to collect sperm samples.
This is a woman's condom, known as the femidom. The below sample is from England and it looks UNWASHED. It would probably sell for alot in Japan.
This is a wooden groin guard that tribal hunters wear for protection (against wood peckers?)

This is the olden day's form of protection. To prevent pregnancy, they would put this on. People stopped using because it was too heavy. It's absurd thinking how people can use this, don't you think? What pleasure does the man get? Does he even feel anything? Maybe the prevention of pregnancy was an excuse. Maybe the women needed a bigger d***.

 I thought human's appendage didn't have bones and so does every animal. I was wrong! This is a racoon's penis bone.
This is China's first milk bottle.
 A fish with two mouths.
Dried crocodile's penis which is supposedly potent, gives you virility and very expensive. If a friend asks you to pop 4 vigras, you can reply "How hard can it get?"
 A crocodile's nail.
 Another deformed pig with two snouts.
 For the boys who are into old school kungfu, the Tian Shan Xue Lian often mentioned as an elixir in kungfu dramas IS REAL! It is difficult to reach as it can only be found in snow mountains, 4500 meters above sea levels. It can heal wounds and internal damage like the kungfu dramas say!
 Largest note in the world, and probably useless.
 They also aired captivating documentaries like "Cutting up Aliens".
 These are the unique things to do in Taipei. You got to do it too!


Tony Burch said...

Thanks for writing this. I really feel as though I know so much more about this than I did before. Your blog really brought some things to light that I never would have thought about before reading it. You should continue this, Im sure most people would agree youve got a gift.

Anonymous said...

Which MRT is the toilet restaurant at?

Anonymous said...

Hi anon, the link is in the post

Cindy Hopper said...

These are all crazy to look at but are worth trying for.. I will bookmark this so that I would refer back to your well-written post when I go to Taipei.. Very unique, indeed!

Anonymous said...

with all the dick/condom obsessions, you really sound like you desperately need to get some...

Unknown said...

@cindy: i hope u find something new to share!

The Right High School Online said...

good work

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