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Monday, June 14, 2010

Is Japan for Real?

Japan was my dream country to visit. Because i can be just as weird as their inventions and i was curious to find out for myself what i see circulating on the internet to be true. "They" said there is school girl's saliva being sold in phials, live beetles and even used panties for sale (this i saw, not in a vending machine but in a sex shop in Shinjuku). Touted to be Vending Machine Heaven, with 1 vending machine for every 23 people, Japan has one of the highest vending machine densities in the world.
"They" say you can hardly walk 100 meters without finding a vending machine in Japan. Japan has a dense population, limited space, and a decreasing number of working age people. Vending machines have proven to be a convenient solution to the problem. Almost any good you can purchase in a store, you can find in one of Japan’s 6 million vending machines. The thing was.......I NEVER SAW THIS PHENOMENON!

I felt cheated, and left the Land of the Rising Sun disappointed.
Now, i've been telling everyone i'm going to experience cannabilistic sushi in my upcoming trip (Omy video interview inclusive) where you order an edible female or male corpose and dig in literally with surgical knives.
The sushi inside is shaped to resemble human organs, a red “blood sauce” is embedded in the skin layer so as to create realistic bleeding, and your corpse even has a set of papier maché genitals!
And when my travelling partner included this in our itinerary, i excitedly assumed he found the address!! After all, I FOUND the addresses of where the blow-up doll cafes are. Now i'm disappointed because he just messaged me that he can't locate it. I went online to google, and many people are saying that the photo is doctored! It makes me believe so, like i said..Japan wasn't really all THAT WEIRD when i finally visited that country and see the culture first-hand.

To give my friend some credit, he did find out the addresses of other themed restaurants...I.E Prison but this can't beat the REAL prison restaurant in Voltera, Italy.
In order to secure a table at Fortezze Medicea, you and your guests will need to call ahead, submit to full background checks, and, once on premises, the maitre d’ and his helpful staff will frisk you and take your cell phones and anything else they deem a risk.

Why the precautions? Because Fortezza Medicea is a maximum security prison.
Not only is it a prison, but the wait staff and cook staff are all convicted inmates. The head chef is doing life for murder, as is the piano player Bruno (Bruno will take no requests. Do not speak to or make eye contact with Bruno). The cooking is accomplished entirely with plastic utensils, for the safety of the customers, and added “casual” feel of the establishment.
But not to worry; while you eat, you will at all times be under the hawk-like gaze of 20 prison warders, just waiting for an inevitable violent escape attempt. Will you be taken hostage at (plastic) knife-point, used as a human shield by a convict, or simply gunned down in the cross fire? It all adds to the deliciousness of their signature red wine sauce.
I really think in order to quell crime rates, people should experience prison for a day.

Japan isn't the only 3-eyed freak, China is fast catching up. Guo Li Zhang Restaurant: Savour Penises, beneficial to health!
They’ve got horse penis, goat penis, dog penis, pig penis, cock's cock…
For side dishes, would you like an extra serve of testicles? Pig balls with a goat dick? For the person who likes variety, who likes trying everything at one go (yours truly), i'd order dog penis with one horse ball and one rooster ball. Or just for humour's sake, a big horse cock and two tiny chicken balls.
This is real, because BBC did a documentary at it. I can see how the male host is suppressing his bile. Arms crossed, he is protective (bet his own penis cower in fear) and cautious.

As i am now skeptical with the authenticity of Japanese news, i wonder if this one is true. If it is, THIS takes the cake! And if it is true...i'll HUNT it down. In Roppongi, the infamous equivalent-to-Geylang-combined-with-Clarke Quay street in Tokyo houses this exclusive restaurant that doesn't even have a name (Suspicion No.1)
To eat there costs between 2 to 8 thousand US dollars (this is beliveable, judging how a melon can be SGD 40K), and you must be a member.To qualify as a member, you must have a yearly income in excess of $175,000 . in Yen (this is also believable as my friend verified that Ginza and Geisha clubs are member exclusive) . It’s a secretive, controversial club located underground where you have sex with your food.
Playing with your food has never been taken so literally. At the Roppongi club, you’ll get to make love to your choice of a chicken, dog, pig, or goat; male or female. At this point, unless you made a special request, the animal is likely to be still alive, and presumably frisky.

Once the deed is done, you (and your family? Guests? I don't want to know) proceed to the dining area. You will then be presented with a delicious meal of roasted whatever-animal-you-just-f***ed. The restaurant is not forthcoming with many details, but one imagines, largely for the sake of one’s sanity (or not since you are already there, it means something), that the animal is hopefully cleaned out first.
Admittedly, this exclusive dining establishment is not for everyone, but if you’re a rich person who has literally exhausted every other human experience (remember, that includes injecting heroin into your eyeball), then why not top off your life with this ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE?

As one of the patrons (who wished to remain anonymous) stated, “the appeal of the place just came about because when people have got money and done everything else, they turn towards bestiality.”

Wish me luck in finding out if Japan is for real in my upcoming trip. 4 more days!
(above via

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