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Saturday, August 13, 2011

Ingenius Business Ideas

2010's The Crazies was another predictable B grade zombie movie. When you think of 'crazy', it has a negative connotation. Albert Einstein was labeled as crazy by his neighbours. They saw him doing things that people wouldn't normally do and thus outsized him as a misfit.

He didn't invent the lightblub, Thomas Edison (his teacher thought his ideas were crazy) did.

He invented E=mc2 which caused me much blood and sweat during exams.

So yes, we needed help from The Crazies.

In our modern day, we also have the crazies. The ones who had the guts, who had the vision and came up with ingenious business ideas.

1) Debonaire Debt Collectors
In Singapore, our loan sharks are also very innovative. No more vandalism on the walls or in the lifts which is a criminal offense but junk mail in the form of hell notes and funeral cloth that is freaky yet sends a message through to shame that neighbour to O$P$? It's a grey area just like the many advertisements from property agents, NTUC and Macdonalds we get. Provided it doesn't include a threat to the innocent neighbour, which is very uncool and won't win you an innovative award.

Spain does it a little classier.

If someone owes you money, you can launch a "smart" attack with a stylish top hat and tailcoat, no less.
If only they took a step further and send eccentric men
like Willy Wonder hot on your heels.
A man like Manfred Gunther will leech on you like a shadow. He follows you closely behind in public, and because it is a gaining popularity service in Spain and Portugal where the privately owned company employs more than 500 debt collectors, people will recognise what the man in a smart suit is following you for.

And there is no way to make him disappear unless you punch him, outrun him or not leave your house.

Otherwise, you can always pay your debt.

Then, there is the SWAT style in America.

And there's a debt collector's newest weapon....Facebook.
Don't go round collecting "friends".

No wonder notorious hacker group Anonymous vows to kill Facebook this Nov 5.
2) YouSendShit

That wasn't its name, but i thought that name embodies better, a parody of popular file sharing service YouSendIt.

Sweet revenge at its finest, you can send a pile of shit to your mean boss, nasty neighbour (my neighbour complains at the slightest thing!), the ex-boyfriend who cheated, the player who broke your heart, the bitch who back-stabbed you or the best friend who will really enjoy a good smelly laugh.
It comes in many varieties and even a special of the month. What these ingenious people do is they go to local farms and collect your shit of choice.
They then mail it to your intended victim and they will hopefully happily rip into the "surprise" excited to see who sent them a present. Only when the stench hits once opened will they see an anonymous greeting card that says, " You've been pooped! Dig in to find out whom."

Victim will then have to dig in, curious and furious to know who only to find another card buried deep saying "WE'LL NEVER TELL."

Here're some testimonials from customers

I sent a pile of shit to my neighbor that lets her dog shit in everybody's yard. She must have gotten the message because now she carries a plastic bag around with her and actually cleans up after the dog. She never did that before. Thanks for a job well done. Mary - San Francisco, CA

I spend a lot of money entertaining customers only to get shit on with "well let me think about it and I'll get back to you" never to hear from them again or they are always in a meeting or out of the office when I follow up with a call. This is the perfect inexpensive little follow up gift for these assholes. I'm sure they have screwed over many people by leading them on so they would never know who it came from. I have sent several of these packages right to their place of business and only hope their secretary is the one who opens it up so she can tell everybody else in the company by the water cooler. 
Every Salesman in Philadelphia PA 

Although I am not usually a vengeful person I've been shit on for the last time when I was just ripped off by another auto mechanic shop that charged me $490.00 for brakes and a tune up I probably didn't even need. I sent them the biggest package of shit you had and I don't care which one of them opens it they all deserve it as far as I'm concerned. Melissa M. - Miami, FL

I sent my ex-boyfriend a pile of cow dung about 3 weeks ago and last week one of this friends came up to me in a club and told me about it and asked if it was me who sent it. I said that's sick and no it wasn't me. I asked if he was mad and his friend said he's really pissed off and it's driving him nuts trying to find out who sent it, he's going around accusing everyone. He's pissed off and going nuts accusing friends, you could say that's like a two for one sale. FANTASTIC! 
Amber San Diego CA 

Oooo...tempting, tempting. With the USD so low, while shopping up a storm on iPhone apps, Asos and Ebay, perhaps throw some shit in too?

3) Japan's Break-Up Service

Apparently, the obsessed Japanese are so cordial that even when breaking up, they cannot bear to say it in your face. Thus spun the business idea of a break-up service which inspired Adidas's ad.

Unfortunately, i am unable to find the official website to engage such services to verify the claim...i'd still would believe it's true. After all, anything is possible in Japan. Other than the video below, here is a legit business in Japan, The Splitters Uppers.

Extremely understanding to employees, there is a Tokyo based company Hime, offers staff aged under 24 one break up recovery day each year. Once they hit 25, they are entitled to 2 days off and 30 and above get 3 full days off! CEO Hiradate says that "Women in their 20s can find their next love quickly, but it's tougher for women in their 30s, and their break-ups tend to be more serious." Wow.

4) Singapore's Accident Betting Website
Singaporeans go to great lengths to feed their frenzy for lucky numbers. Traffic hold up not because of an accident, but because of the motorists who slow down to take down the registration numbers of accident vehicles for their 4D bets.
Punters will also flock to remote parts of Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand to pray to deities for winning numbers, otherwise turn up at high profile funerals or murder sites.

Local comedy The Noose came up with an ingenious business idea of a website that captures this local culture. I believe it's merely a parody of a Singaporean's kiasu-ness, but will you be crazy enough to implement it? Sure make money one you know (if not winning money). is also another ingenious website, except the lady behind it has a personal vendetta (boyfriend who cheated with a prostitute) and not making money out of it (kudos to her noble cause!)

What some see as crazy, others saw as genius.


Ariel said...

The last video is very inspiring. You never fail to surprise me with you posts! Always look forward to reading them!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for leaving a comment! Its v encouraging. Nice profile pic btw.

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