No Photoshop, just Instagram

@chrispytine on Twitter and Instagram

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Joy Luck Club


I found out about Elyse on one of those days when women bond over coffee (fruit juice to be specific) and chit chat. It was our first time meeting, but she was spot-on in guessing what i do for a living (which is not easy to guess, because it's not the norm).

It was like, she's almost psychic (don't need to plan surprise parties for her, she'll know). & when women bond over fruit juice and chit chat, besides gossip, the conversation always strays towards relationships.

With the recent witness of many personal friends with non committal "boyfriends", be it cheating partners, be it faithful boyfriends who didn't want marriage, be it dating partners who behave single, i asked Elyse why.

She said "because you are not committed yourself."
Defensively, i retort "that's not true!".

It wasn't about you being a cheating wandering lover, it's about you not being committted TO yourself.

Self love is not just about taking time out for your hobby or shopping. Self love and personal power are the building blocks of a healthy self concept and self image. The most important relationship in our lives is our relationship to ourselves. if we are wrong with ourselves, we will be wrong with all other relationships. If we are off center in ourselves, how can we be on center with others?

Self love begins with the understanding that there are 2 types of love in the world: Conditional love and UNconditional love. Conditional love is egotistical, personality based love. UNconditional love is spiritual or transpersonal love.We must first ask ourselves whether we love ourselves conditionally or unconditionally. Unconditional self love is based on the understanding that we have worth and we are lovable.

When i read that, it clicked. It reminded me of my childhood where i never felt up to scratch, where i felt not worthy because i was a girl in this Asian society.

There was once an episode where i was on a natural relaxant. I started swearing alot. At nobody and nothing in particular. My speech was just peppered with alot of swear words. Not the F word and all those hokkien vulgarities, but merely a mild swear word that most wouldn't even consider a swear word. I never believed in using God's name in vain.

It was a side i didn't know it exists! It was a fun time and when i sobered up, it made me think about how repressed i am.

I still don't think a lady should swear (although just the other day my male friend showed me how a woman can swear in a CLASSY way), but i realised that I am living how the society, my parents and everybody expects me to be. My friends commented that they always see me so prim & proper (pearls and all), well mannered & sweet so that episode was certainly refreshing and comical.

I am really happy with who i am! But do i really love myself in thinking i am worthy?

Elyse shared her story about her journey to self love.

"I have never been a popular kid at school. In fact, I was so unpopular that I wasn't even sure my teachers and friends knew i existed. Having bad hair day everyday did not help at all. I was constantly made fun of because of my "AFRO" hairstyle. Low self esteem and no confidence were mostly my emotions.
One day, when i was in secondary 4, my mother asked if I wanted to join a Model agency to learn deportment. I immediately said YES! Hoping that will make me popular and pretty. I started to have new "COOL" friends. we hang out in pubs, discos... I started drinking, smoking even took drugs!

I would go to school smelling like a walking cigarette and a bottle of whisky. I also starting not going to school altogether and sometimes not even going home.My days of fun ended when my mother called the police and i was detained at the police station for a night. And was taken to the juvenile court shortly. THANK GOD!!! the judge did not put me into a girls home. instead i was given a 2nd chance.

I was then sent to the STATES under the care of my grand aunt. You would think my life would be great living in the states. BUT NO! on the contrary, my life was totally horrible, almost like living hell!!! My Grand aunt almost made me an illegal immigrant so that I would work in her restaurant to be cheap labour. They paid me US$250 per month!!! Her daughters stole my things and even my passport away!!!

Luckily, I made very good friends and they took me out of my misery. After 1.5 years, I returned back to Singapore. I took my N levels again but by then i was 19. Cleaned my act and I applied to be a flight stewardess. And i got it!
I really feel like I am the UGLY duckling that turned into a BEAUTIFUL swan... In the years of flying, I was not happy either. I wanted to be in a relationship so much. I wanted to find a man who can love me and we can live happily ever after. But all I seem to attract were nasty men, who did not see who I really was. They were just attracted to me for the wrong reasons.

(Perhaps, even I didn't know who I was to begin with. that was why i was sending out the wrong signals!)

At 23 years old, I met my husband. Our relationship was also very dramatic. I loved him so much then. I loved him more than I loved myself. I was so afraid he would leave me eventually. I was just scared!... scared to be alone again. Then, I got pregnant at 24 with my eldest daughter, Gabrielle. After she was born, there was another shift in energy. There was so much to learn as a young mother. So much to deal with! I lost my freedom overnight! I really had a hard time struggling to keep my head above the water.
To sum it all up, basically all these years of searching and filling up voids, was because i lack SELF LOVE!. I did not love myself enough, maybe I didn't even love myself at all! otherwise why would I allow myself to go through these traumatic events? I was always giving myself to others so that they can love me back. I always wanted to be part of a group and to be recognized. If I loved myself, I would know that I do not need to make other people happy to be happy!"

Elyse went on a soul searching journey and she has found her footing. She now wants to spread what she has and learnt. She has a tailored programmme to suit every individual's needs/development.

In this program:

- Weekly exercises to help you get in touch with your inner self.
- be confident and feel good about yourself.
- Weekly phone calls and/or emails.
- Healing Touch (via distance or face to face)

Her programme serves to cut negative cords that no longer make you serve your best to people, place and situations. It realigns and reenergizes your body system, cleanses your aura and karma.
For every sign up there will be a complimentary rose quartz braclet (worth $120).

This is a 1 month (4 weeks) program.

If you would like to try 1 session before committing, it is possible.

This Program will benefit people:
- Looking for answers
- do not have enough time
- Can't get out negative situations
- can't attract good relationships and abundance
- feel stagnant in life
- wants to know their life purpose

As with disclaimers with all slimming programmmes, this is not a miracle pill that solves all your problems in life. There is work and commitment required from you in this programme.
You will get clarity and a brand new mindset at the end of  this and sometimes all it takes is a small shift and you will see the world in a brand new way.
Confidentiality at
Please join mailing list to receive a numerology report worth $47. 


Anonymous said...

most people have weak mindset, that's why this kind of mental guru exist to provide e therapy..

but i wont deny it helps according to each person thou..
what u think?

Xtine said...

it's like motivational speakers or courses that people pay to get more confidence or even therapists you pay for a listening ear.

to each his/her own :)

Blogger said...

Searching for the Ultimate Dating Site? Create an account to find your perfect match.

Blogger said...

Get your own personal numerologic report.
Begin the most fascinating journey of your life and learn your true life purpose.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...