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Monday, October 11, 2010

The B(r)e(a)st Job

Although I like my lean figure with “don’t look sleazy” size breasts, sometimes creating the illusion of having big jugs is gratifying. Just look at the reactions of these men.

There are bras with cleavage enhancing functions. Women should know to maximize its uses, men should know them to be aware so as not to be tricked that you’re getting a larger portion.

Do you know how to wear your bras appropriately? First, you bend over so that your breasts are hanging down. Slightly will do, you don’t have to be 90 degrees.

Slip on your bra, stand tall and use your hands to push (push! Push!) your fats (breasts) from the side all the way into the bra cup.

1) The U-shaped bra

This is an awesome invention because it has always been a problem in finding a bra to wear when you have super low v-necks. I bought mine in Australia, but I saw that the lingerie shop at Ion (near Mango) has it. Alas, it doesn’t come as a halter neck strap, but the usual shoulder strap, so you can only wear a V-neck dress that doesn’t expose the shoulders or back. Because of its unique cups, it gives you coverage yet at the same time pushes your breasts from the side to the front (provided you did the earlier step of pushing our fats to the middle).
This is how I wear mine.
2) The Original Nu Bra
There are MANY kinds of Nu Bra (adhesive bras) in the market. Personally, I bought my first one from OG at $49.90. It lasted for 3-4 years with minimal usage. It takes getting used to because it feels awkward not having a clasp at the back, not having straps but just 2 stick-ons that you slap onto your fats. It is very useful for dresses like this. The back is exposed, and so is the front.

At the end of 4 years, the silicon started cracking (breaking up) so I thrashed it and found another pair for $20 in Vietnam! I was so happy that I got it so cheap (thinking that Nu Bras is all the rage now, therefore the price went down). When I bought it at $49.90, I believe I was one of the first few in Singapore who thought its worthwhile investing in a Nu Bra.$49.90 for a bra was a lot to a 16 year old.
But girls, I’m telling you now, forget about all other brands. The original authentic Nu Bra is the one you should really invest in, not the other brands of nu bra. The problem with all other nu bras that I have bought before, the ONE BIG problem with them is they NEVER STAY STUCK! Once you perspire the slightest bit, or even not perspiring at all, it won’t last on your fats for more than 2 hours. So throughout the night, you’ll try to inconspicuously pretend to be cold, wrap your arms around your chest and PRESS HARD. So as to make the nu bra stick back on.

I chanced upon the Nu Bra shop in Sunshine Plaza (near SMU), I walked in and reeled in the prices staring back at me. $69.90, $89.90, $169 etc. For 2 silicon stick on that you slap on fats, really? I am close to giving up on wearing nu bras because of the detachment problem after an hour, yet I am reluctant to give up because I don’t want to give up wearing pretty sexy dresses. So I decided to try it one last time. After all, this is THE ORGINAL of nu bras right? The adhesive is from USA, the Auntie assured me she wears them everyday and it stays on 24/7. She even pulled open her neckline, so I could peep in. Well, seeing IS believing right?

So I went into the changing room, AND SHE INVITED HERSELF IN. Be prepared for very personal service, literally. She man-handled my fats. Poking, prodding and showing me HOW TO PUSH. I could not try the adhesive, for hygiene reasons but I was prepared to take the risk of purchase. They also have nu bras cut for bikinis, so you can have that cleavage you desire at the beach!

I once had a photo shoot with many other girls on the beach. All of them had their nu bras stuck on (don’t know which brands). The photographer asked us to do a jump so he can capture us mid-shot. Guess what happened when we jumped? I saw silicon pads FALLING OUT. I was silently snickering to myself, thankfully I was smart and real enough to not wear any silicon pads but pad the bikini with its own sponge pad in its pocket. It’s as embarrassing as going into the water and seeing your silicon pads floating out (maybe it’ll sink instead).
Bras are meant to enhance a look, but don’t fake it too much. Be body confident, and not become another person when the silicon takes over.

I eagerly tried out my Nu Bra when I got home, I need to know if my $69.90 just went down the drain. I jumped, I stretched, I jiggled. It stayed glued to my chest. What took my breath away was….I never knew the existence of the Nu Bra was to create an astounding cleavage! You see, how it is MEANT to work (the whole reason of using adhesive) was to push all your fats up, stick it on somewhat close to your ribs, so whatever fats you’ve pushed up will stay up because the bra is stuck beneath. THEN because it’s 2 separate pieces stuck apart, there is a clasp which you clasp on in front. The objective is to bring your 2 lumps of fat closer to each other and if the adhesive is really good, it will naturally PULL both lumps of fat, creating a drool worthy cleavage.

The other nu bras I have bought could NEVER achieve it. They do come with clasps too (all of them do) but the adhesive was never strong enough to pull the fats together. So I wear them just so I can wear backless dress and not be flat in front (still see 2 mounds) but now with the authentic Nu Bras, not only can I wear backless dresses, I can EVEN show a cleavage (if I want to).
3) Maximizer

Victoria Secrets call theirs the Miracle Push-Up bra. Quite aptly put, it really does create a temporary miracle. I buy Triumph’s padded and even their water bras (which my mum insists it will cause rheumatism but the Triumph marketing says it’s cooler in hot weather). Wear them on occasions when you need it with that special dress and not everyday. We shall try not to disappoint the boys too much when they un-wrap the package. Ha ha ha.

My dad says I suck at packing my luggage, so he does it for me when we travel. He is VERY good at it, only problem is….he uses my bras to CUSHION OTHER THINGS. My expensive bras, dad!! Maybe because the bras are padded, he bunches it up, rolls it up, folds it up and stuff it in the corners of the luggage. THE MEN JUST DON’T GET IT.

So imagine the delight when I found the bra bag at It is a little bulky to pack into the luggage, but that means you can store many bras in there. I suppose my dad now can’t use my bras for the four corners of the luggage! He’ll have to try socks.
The secret of sensuality?
Remember, it's from within.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

yeah, we should love our bras.

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