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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The Evolution of Dating

3 years ago, when i went out with someone 10 years older, he imparted some "wise" words. That as i grow older, the notion of a date would matter less to me. 

There used to be a process when getting into a relationship. It starts with admiring from afar, to mustering the guts to break the ice, to going on dates for as long as you want before an eventful day where he asks if you want to be his "stead". It usually comes with flowers, a teddy or some dramatic gesture. 

When that was the trend in my teenage years, i remember comparing it to the movies and was appalled that reality was blatant and unromantic in how two people are tagged officially. I thought people tumble into bed together and that began the relationship, which seemed alot more romantic then.  

A decade later, indeed reality is like the movies. Except a committed relationship may not be the result of tumbling into bed. I grew up, innocence stolen. Today, i spoke to a 23 year old and got to know kissing and holding hands doesn't mean its official. I'm no Mary but i thought such frivolousity is only with older people, probably jaded and skeptical with bad relationships. I probably shouldn't generalise but it started other thoughts and discussion how dating has evolved. As with all evolution, like apes to humans, brick size phones to mini ear pieces, private information sharing to public social sharing, dating has also evolved. 

Before social media existed, fact finding starts from a date. Today, *no one goes out before doing some online CSI. Its a boon and a bane. You cut to the chase, to know if he has any lingering ex or currently dating someone else, but is this pre-judgement healthy? 

A relationship is only official once it's announced publicly on Facebook. A girlfriend was arguing with her boyfriend over his Facebook status, only to be appeased after he updated it. 

As a grown up, i then asked "where is that childhood innocence?" When there is no ambiguity if one is in a relationship or not because someone did ask "do you want to?" and there would be a "yes/ no" answer, typically. Its an irony that as a child, we can't wait to grow up and when we got there, we want time to turn back. 

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