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Friday, December 7, 2012

5 Excuses Men Give

Today, we live in a world where it is more dramatic losing your iPhone than your virginity.
We have mobile apps that can do anything imaginable including keeping mosquitos at bay. Unfortunately, no one has invented one that you can put by your bedside table and it'll protect you from pregnancy, STD and HIV.
We sleep with our phones next to our bed, here's an iPhone case that holds a condom.
Buy here.

Here's the brutal truth. SINGAPOREANS ARE IGNORANT ABOUT SEX.

Despite Singapore ranked the bottom two on the global index for having the least sex, it is not an excuse to be ranked the highest in unsafe sex.

We resemble the ostrich. We burry our heads in sand and tell ourselves "it won't happen to us." Little did we know, the ostrich do not actually burry its head in sand when faced with danger and we shouldn't be resisting protection before its too late.
I would have been one of those, until i witnessed myself 4 friends who had shotgun marriages of which 1 failed and 1 on the verge of failing. The worst was the one (not included in the 4) where they had unprotected BREAK-UP sex and the girl fell pregnant and the guy wanted nothing to do with it. She went on to become a single mum.

If only she used a condom, because it was a non committal thrust. 

Then, there was the other time i saw a woman walking out of the Action for Aids clinic wailing and thumping the chest of the man with her. She was hysterical and the man looked guilty.

If only she used a condom, because for $30 extra, prostitutes will do it the bare-back way.

There was also the friend who felt responsible for his pregnant girlfriend, stressed for the whole of 10 months. Then, she told him in the labour room that the baby wasn't his.

If only he had used a condom, he wouldn't have a mental break-down.

The Durex Global Wellbeing 2012 revealed that Singaporean students are 20 times less likely than global standards to use a condom at first time. Subsequently, 2 in 5 Singaporeans will not use condoms regularly.

What i found more interesting was the Durex 2011 survey that found Singaporean men to have an average of 16 sex partners, the same number as Hong Kong and the highest in Asia. Singaporean women have an average of 6 sex partners, up from 3 previously. We are also the second highest number in Asia, just behind the Japanese.

So we are really having alot of sex, just not wanting children, contrary to popular belief that Singaporeans aren't having enough sex. Some 19% of Singaporean women admitted that they were unfaithful to their spouses, placing local women among the top five most unfaithful in the world.

Malaysian men appear to have the lowest average number of sex partners at just 3. Gay men have the highest average number of sex partners at 108 and lesbian women have an average number of 11 sex partners.

This means that the person you're having sex with have had unprotected sex with many others before you. Dollar notes have the most bacteria because it passed through many hands.
Yes, IT CAN HAPPEN TO US, especially when some STD(s) are not detectable on the surface. HIV and STD are more prevalent amongst heterosexual couples than homosexuals because we are ignorant not using condoms and we tell ourselves "it won't happen to me".

While two young virgins don't have to worry about diseases, an inexperienced boy may still make you pregnant with his pre-cum!
There's really TOO MUCH worry not using a condom.

Parents can't be ostriches too. Their youths will have and are having sex. One can only teach if not abstinence then teach how to put on a condom.



In case you are shy about getting a dildo to practice on, use a dog's tail!

As a woman, i can understand how we are easily weakened by men's pleas and wriggles to get out of a condom, pun intended. I hope reading the excuses below helps you identify and better armed with an answer AND a condom when it happens.

1. Baby, its too tight for me, i feel uncomfortable.
Oh baby, i got you the DUREX COMFORT. It's 56mm, a whole 7mm than the usual fit. Show me how you FILL IT UP, you BIG BOY.
2. Baby, if you wear a glove to dig your nose, will your nose feel comfortable?
Oh baby, i appreciate you thinking for my pleasure but unless you're a boar, you wouldn't have a ribbed penis will you? DUREX PLEASURE MAX gives both of us extra stimulation with a dotted texture.
3. Baby, it's too thick, i'll lose my feeling!
Oh baby, i know, that's why there's DUREX FEATHERLITE ULTIMA, 20% thinner than the standard to maintain sensitivity.


4. Baby, it may slip off! You may need to go to the hospital to get it out if it does!!
Oh baby (DO NOT snicker at his small package), there's DUREX CLOSE FIT. I'm not afraid.
5. But baby.....it's my birthday!
I'll put it on WITH MY MOUTH and sing you happy birthday.



Just remember, if you use a condom at your first time, you will be 2.1 times more likely to have confidence in life and 2.4 times more likely to be satisfied with your overall sex life.

If you love yourself, you'll insist on protection.
If you love your partner, you won't want to ruin his/her life.
If you love your child, YOU WON'T BE AN OSTRICH!

Play Safe, I love You.

4 comments:

katrijn said...

Brilliant post and so true! We have to respect ourselves. Do men really use those excuses? I hadn't heard them! Or are Dutch men more docile (quite possible, actually! The fearsome reputation of Dutch women literally dates back centuries!)

Right, I'm off to have a look at the Dutch statistics on the Durex survey :)

Xtine said...

@ katrijn: hahaha, the Dutch are the most open minded people, i'm sure they are advocates of safe sex!

Silver Ang said...

I couldn't decide if I was horrified or dumbfounded or amused when the lady deepthroated the dildo. Whoa~~~ Nice discovery baby! Lol!!!!!

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You could be eligible for a free Apple iPhone 7.

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