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Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Greatest Love Story…told by a porn star.

After reading The Game (how do boys get girls), Neil Strauss was my newest favourite author. I had been eyeing his graphic novel How to Make Money Like a Porn Star for a while now, but it was only available online (expensive delivery!). On my birthday, my friend offered to buy it for me. There we were, ordering it online. As we checked out, “Sinner Takes All” popped up as a recommended book because of our choice. My friend’s eyes immediately brightened up and said “Hey! That’s my favourite actress!”
So we bought 2 books and saved on delivery for 2.

When it arrived, I fumbled with a book cover looking like that. My parents will soon start questioning what I am doing with a book like that. My father already leaves newspaper articles like “Singaporean Porn Actress Murdered” on my study table. I wasn’t sure then if he is hinting about the SINGAPROEAN murdered or that a PORN ACTRESS murdered or that the suspected killer is her ANG MOH BOYFRIEND.

So I took off the cover and kept it neatly away. After all, I am supposed to return this book to her fan (my friend) when I am done. Also, KPO(s) on the MRT are sure to look over my shoulder, curious what a book with that cover is all about. Removing the cover, underneath, it’s a very innocent smart looking hard cover book. My friends who saw me clutching it thought I was reading an encyclopedia!
Tera, an exotic gorgeous Thai-American grew up with an abusive mother. After her parents separated, she was scouted and transported to Japan as a model. She made it big, but soon it all spiraled when she got involved with booze and drugs. Her virginity was taken away by force, and that started her unsustainable appetite for sex. She stresses however, that it was her choice and that she wasn’t forced into it by any other unfortunate circumstances. Jenna Jameson, another famous porn star I hear, went into porn because she was gang raped by her boyfriend and his friends.

Tera is very generous with her book. She included plenty of full colour naked self portraits of herself. It’s like reading a porn magazine, except you’re more intelligent…it’s an auto biography, Dad!
Her DD(s) are real.
This book is amazing. It’s the next best thing to Harry Potter. I haven’t found another book that I couldn’t put down after Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 287 pages of text, I absorbed every single word. From the foreword to the acknowledgements, I read every single word.

Tera was a woman so tainted and spoilt, been through dozens of men as a porn star that she starts wondering if she will ever find a man who would love her as she is. Ultimately, she is a traditional girl at heart and do want to marry and settle down. Having sex means paying the bills to her. Besides she needs it daily, just like how she needs to eat, drink and breathe.
Then she met a man. A fallen rock star that came and swept her off her feet. They loved passionately and loved deeply. She has finally met her Prince, her dream came true. He didn’t mind her occupation and loved her as she is. She couldn’t believe that this was true, that a man loved her enough to not mind her past and even encouraged her to continue as a future.

This section of the book was the most enjoyable, because as any girl, I do too enjoy romance novels. Except that this wasn’t fiction, but actually a true love story. At this point of Tera’s life, she was also facing a major law suit from her agent (they were fleecing her money as a lucrative porn star) and so she became suicidal, violent and depressed. Evan stood by her despite her being a total mental bitch. His love for her was THAT strong, despite having just met.

This kinda made me reflect abit on my own relationships. Although I was with my first boyfriend for 3 years, I never felt he loved me for who I am. I was suppressed, because he was this Asian male chauvinist who is in love with the perfect image, girl-next-door that I was. He walks in front of me, wouldn’t allow me to wear short skirts; and he calls me a slut if I go out with my male friends (not one-on-one, but even in a group). It was very hurtful to have your boyfriend call you that. He loves the fact that I am adventurous and sporty (he loves sports too) but I have to “behave” when in public, i.e speak and sit like a lady. He was attracted to me because I could speak and write well, and thus I should NEVER speak Singlish. Once I did, with an Indian Singaporean Auntie in the Asian Mart in Australia, and he stayed angry with me for the entire night. That was again, very hurtful.

After we broke up, I was casually going out with this other guy. He was a looker, like David Beckham. He often brought me to posh restaurants to wine and dine, everything was swell. Then one evening at Oosh, Dempsey, he brought me to a Japanese restaurant so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. As I got off my chair to visit the loo, my chair scrapped and made a screeching ee ee sound. He looked up from the menu and FROWNED. I though “Oooo K…abit of over-reaction there isn’t it?”

He ordered tiger prawns and they came piping juicy hot. Now, I am NOT a lady. I try to be one, but in my truest state, I AM NOT. I eat pizzas with my hands, I eat chicken wings with my hands and I love eating crabs getting all messy. I will wipe my mouth with my sleeve if I have to, and I will my 鼻塞 and stick it under the table. Ok, JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE LAST TWO.

So anyway, I try being a lady because I know that’s what David Beckham wants to date. So I ate my tiger prawns with a fork and knife. As soon as I try de-shelling, guess what happened? My fork slipped and I shot PRAWN JUICE right smack INTO HIS EYE ACROSS THE TABLE!!! Can I get any more accurate??!!

By then, this is our nth date. It wasn’t our first. You would think we’ll laugh about the incident because he is asking me out repeatedly because he likes my character, and not to get into my pants. He screeched like a girl saying I tried to blind him, the juice was hot. Haha, nah, that didn’t happen. But we did eat the rest of the dinner IN SILENCE.

I knew then, after my first boyfriend that I had to be with someone who will love me for who I am, how I am. This incident further affirmed my thoughts.

Back to Tera and her love story, an except from the couple in love:

He looked me in the eyes and said, “It’s finally just you and me. From the day I met you, I knew it would always be you and me forever. I want to marry you over and over.”

When Evan said it, he meant it! Because in their 5 years of marriage, they got married 4 times. Their theory on getting married over and over again was this: You don’t go to the gym just once and stay fit for life. So, why commit yourself to each other just once in your life? Renewing our vows and recommitting ourselves to each other is like maintenance for our marriage. It’s constant work and needs constant reaffirmations.

It wasn’t only the usual Happy Anniversary dinner, it was the full works. Picking the bride up, walking down the aisle and saying I Do all over again. Talk about Back to the Future.

So from talking about her porn career, the book became a relationship guide! If a porn star, with a warped sense of career can have a successful marriage, why not anyone else?!

The Rules of Their Marriage:

  1. Agree to agree
  2. Let the other live out all of their fantasies on camera and off
  3. Treat each other’s feelings with the utmost care and respect
  4. Never forget that our relationship is about love, friendship, fun, compassion, trust, parternship, and, of course, sex.
  5. When having sex with other people, never forget that it’s just about sex. (applies to porn stars ONLY because it's their job, geddit?)
  6. Tera is number one to Evan and Evan is number one to Tera.
At this point, I smsed my friend.

“Thank you for letting me read the book first! Porn star autobiography turns out to be the GREATEST LOVE STORY of all time. I am hopeful again. I will find love again.”

Men fear commitment because they fear they can't get to live their dreams once they have a wife to consider, a baby to expect, 2 families to care for. I, however, beg to differ. As a partner, i do not believe in holding a man back or pressuring anyone to do anything they didn't want to. Instead, as a partner, you are meant to encourage and support your husband in his dreams and fantasies.

But oops, I haven’t exactly reached the end of the book. They did eventually divorce after 7 years of marriage. Their love story started out simple, it was a boy and a girl deeply in love. Got married and the girl thought that this was the end of her porn career. The boy, her husband that he is, encouraged her and supported her in getting back the household name she created (she is very very famous as a porn star). 


She despite being a “whore”, did not want to have sex with any one else now that she has a husband. So he became her co-star and porn star. They both conquered the adult industry and make shit loads of money. USD 10,000 from one movie, USD 60,000 from a stage show and selling merchandise. All in one day/ night’s of work. The marriage broke down because it came to a point where Tera wants to stop making porn movies but just be a normal housewife and have children (yea yea…and all men roll their eyes and say “women and their maternal instincts”.) but the husband? He didn’t want to. He wanted to continue being a porn star, the career HIS WIFE INTRODUCED HIM TO.
We love and respect each other enough to know that our individual growth and happiness are more important than fighting to stay together to make compromises that either of us just can’t live with. People change. We changed. We have made compromises and sacrifices in our lives and marriage, but we’re at a juncture where the compromises or sacrifices would change who are are and what we want to such a degree that only resentment would result.”

Reading that reminded me of how much sacrifices I made for my first boyfriend. I gave up my friends, because I was always rushing home to cook dinner for him. I gave up holidays, because he’d talk me out of it so I can stay home to cook dinner for him.

I never did regret making those sacrifices though, because I am a traditional girl at heart too. If only he had appreciated and loved me back as much.

I’m excited about the future, the great unknown, but i'm no longer fearful to go it alone. I've lived and experienced some of the best and worst, and i wouldn't change any of it. It made me who i am. It also taught me that it's not over; it's far from over. I don't think it'll ever be over. I'm excited to take on the next adventures.

The bottom line is that i know i can do anything on my own now. I plan to cover my tattoo that says 'Evan's Princess'. A princess is usually a damsel in distress who needs a Prince Charming to sweep in, save her, and make her happy. I needed that at the time, but i'm no damsel in distress anymore. And i will never be someone else's 'princess'. I am the queen of my own domain now, and i feel on top of the world for having discovered that."

Tera built a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE empire just based on her name, her looks and her vagi**. She clearly has the wits too as well. A very concise biography, it even includes Q&A with Tera. A book that i thought would just be thrashy fun turns out to be one about love, motivation and empowerment.


 P.S I hope to marry in Las Vegas when my turn comes. Forget about the exorbitant Chinese wedding dinners! I'd rather spend 1/10 of that, no headache about planning and coordinating and still have a silly crazy fun wedding to remember by (Elvis reading your vows). It's cheesy but it's gonna be just like the movies!

5 comments:

Estelle Kiora said...

Wow this is a long book review. Can i borrow pls? :)

Fabby said...

Wow. I'm deeply touched Christine. This is a very well written and heart-felt review. very honest, very true.

Anonymous said...

Aww thanks for the comment! Made me read it back again :)

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