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Monday, June 16, 2014

Types of Men i Went out With

In my conservative culture, we were brought up to believe we marry our first. However, everyone's first may not be the prince charming we thought to be. We don't share pur experiences, because we don't want to be deemed a slut. However, experiences with the opposite sex comes with even just going to the movies or to dinner. It doesn't mean sex. 

With the coming of age, and believing i've decoded The Game, i feel compelled to share. So that women can learn and encourage each other. A good friend married her first & only boyfriend. When we talk about relationships, and i was able to draw back past experiences as examples, she could only listen, shrug and say, "i wouldn't know, i only had one." I'm not sure if that was a glint of envy in her eye but i'll pat her and say with a grimace, "you haven't missed much." It could be a glint of envy in my eye instead, that she struck jackpot at first instance (i hope she did). 

My European friends however, believes having many experiences with men (i don't mean sexual experiences) makes one a more interesting character. I'm still indecided if these interesting "ex" stories should make it to dinner topics with my new found date, but for sure they have made me who i am today. Clearer with a mind on what i can compromise, what i cannot. Confident with myself, to speak my mind. Generous with a soul, without fear of being left behind. 

I share not to make women have power over men, but to have power over themselves.

The Eager Beaver
I've met 2 eager beavers, whom i've decided they weren't as respectful as the rest. Coincidentally or not, both came from very wealthy families and they were both more than 4 years older than me. Both the eager beavers revealed themselves in the cinema (was a first date). We were watching V for Vendetta, my arms were crossed (they ought to know what a woman's body language say) but he managed to worm his finger into my clenched fist, with my arms still crossed! He then inserted his finger in and out my clenched fist and circled my arm with his finger tip. I felt very uneasy with his sexual innuendos, but because i was still young and naive, i had no guts to walk out of the very dark cinema. Besides, V for Vendetta was a very good movie!

The latter eager beaver booked a couple seat for our first cinema date! That is a no-no, but he did it anyway. He tried to hold my hand but i pulled it back. He then put my hand on his lap, and i pulled it back again. Exasperated, he looked at me and say, "you're just not that into me." 

The Alpha Male

I was very attracted to alpha males. I think it could be because in my household, my mum dominates and i thought it shouldn't be. Little did i know that the alpha male's heart has no space to contain you because his ego takes up majority of the space. The alpha males i know are also narrow-minded. He dictated who i went out with, what i wear and how i speak. The only time he put my interests before him (like giving up his sweater for me), he couldn't stop harping on it seeking praise and acknowledgement from me. 

The Smooth Operator
I learn to be wary of these types. I've met one that when with him, i felt like a queen. When apart, neither a text nor a call comes from him first. When the rose tinted glass came off, only then i knew he was doing the same with many other girls  and i was one of the others. Leading a double life is second nature to smooth operators. 

The Confused
They are usually nice guys in a relationship but because they didn't know what they want, they end up making bad decisions. Self-awareness comes with age and experience. I thank the man i liked who told me after 2 months of seeing each other that it isn't working out. At least he didn't lead me on longer. 

The Scrooge
Men usually are less calculative than women and find it gentlemanly to pay for a date. I've no qalms going dutch on a first date but not when its been requested schemingly like this one did! We went to an affordable Korean restaurant and the bill was $30+. On the table was a standee that advertised discounts when you pay with UOB credit.  He asked me if i had the said card to pay. After i said no, he then swiped out his UOB card. It was like a movie, where the unsuspecting murderer shows his hand. 

The Friend
They are the best. Despite having motives to ultimately make you theirs, they are unrelentlessly there when you need them (unless they get taken). Men whom i feel so comfortable with in my skin, they don't judge and love me for who i am. Ironically, chemistry is still necessary to make it brew so you don't quite get go at the first sight. When it does, i have hit jackpot. 


Anonymous said...

The Alpha Male is definitely Merlin, lol.

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