Holy Cow!

Cows in certain religions and countries hold a sacred position. Switzerland has her own fetish with cows. Rightly so when chocolates and cheese represent the nation and they are both a cow's produce. Other less known Swiss cow obsession are the cow's descent festival and the cow fights. 

From September to October, some 300+ cows descend from the Alpine pastures after the summer months. They are all adored with flowers and ribbons, looking quite like a Christmas tree. Different cantons have their cow's descent over different weekends. You can check http://www.myswitzerland.com for 2014's descend.

I went early Oct to Charmey and the roads started to reek of cows some 5km away, i understood how skid marks got its other connotation. There were traffic congestion as cars gave way to these tiara adorned divas. 

We slowly inched our way up the winding highway and eventually arrive at the mountain village which was the starting point of the descent. Yodelling and the sounds of Alphorns were heard. Country folk were decked out in their traditional costumes putting up a show. Various booths offer local products, arts and craft.

Mr Woody had a stiff one

I had the BEST caramel candy ever. Made on the spot, pipping hot, it was buttery  and crispy.
Move over M&Ms, this is the real deal! It melts not in my mouth, not in my hands!

Catfight

On the other spectrum of the beauty queens, we had the royal rumble. The Herens are a special breed raised in the Valais area where the females are known to be aggressive. A clash of the udders, they fight to be the queen of the herd. It is a fight where there is little (or no) blood, but a lot of dung. 

You pay 20 CHF to stand or 30 CHF to sit. 

Set in an ancient Roman amphitheater found in Martigny, a testosterone filled audience filled the pews. The farmers lead their cows out in pride and the gamekeepers in red tees are individually responsible in leading a cow to lock eyes with another. 

When their eyes are locked, they will either start locking horns and intimidate or they could simply turn away, disinterested. I wasn't expecting to be sitting the whole afternoon because there were plenty of anti-climaxes when the cows start grazing instead of wrestling but i ended up sitting for a good 4 hours entertained!

The Heren farmers are milking the cows with such competitions instead of the liquid white stuff. 

They treat them like pets really, the prized cash cows. They give them a pet on that turf of hair on the top of their heads and a treat in the arena if they did well. 

I'm guessing like apples are treats to horses, bread are treats to cows.
Not sure if the rouge colour is from wine. Drunken Cow Fighting Stance?

These are definitely unique things to do in Switzerland.

Watch videos at http://instagram.com/chrispytine

Hammam Bath: an erotic experience

I happily peeled off my clothes that was matted to my perspiring skin from exploring Athens on foot. 

Slipping on my pink string bikini, wrapping the peştemal, a red and white checked cloth, around my waist and changing into the sandals given, i was ready for my virgin hamman experience.

I was led through the soğukluk (the cooling down room) into the hararet (the hot room). 

The room was impressive. Illumindated in an orange glow with an echo if you speak, the room was completely covered in marble featuring several basins and an impressive göbektaşı — the central, raised platform above the heating source.

Removing the cloth from my waist, i tried to relax and sweat next to a kurna, the small marble basin. I could fill the basin with hot, cold or warm water which i then douse myself with. Initially, i used warm but later found that cold water was the most pleasing. Especially after lying face up on the göbektaşı examining the architecture and skylights placed on the ceiling. I got restless after lying for ten minutes, but forced myself to lie down again, like sun-bathing.

The hammam bath is a small place, they can only serve 3 customes at a time so its highly recommended to make reservations way in advance. We did ours a month ahead. The washing area by a masseuse is seperated by a marble panel from where i was told to sweat and relax. I peeped, wanting to get a heads-up of what's going to happen to me when it's mine turn. 

All i saw was one perfect figure of a woman & man lying face down on seperate marble tables, enjoying their sudsy massage. Only locals would know that historically, the Turkish mothers would visit hammas to suss out potential daughter-in-laws. My eyes traced the petite hands that firmly caressed that man's back. His masseuse was wearing a little black bikini top with a peştemal tied around her waist. Glancing over to the female customer, her male masseuse was half naked with a boyish face like Corey Monteith frome Glee. Damn, must the Greeks all look like gods.

It was my turn. Clutching my washcloth, i gingerly walked in. There was a change in masseuses. My friend got a female masseuse who seemed to wear nothing underneath but wrapped by a peştemal like a tube dress. My male masseuse wore a cross necklace around his neck, sport a 5'o clock shadow sported and had chiseled abs. He looked like Ryan Gosling. I licked my lips, my throat felt dry.

I laid down on the marble table and surrended myself to Ryan. His voice was gruff and he whispered next to my ear what's he's going to be doing to me. I had to resist not to have my lips curl into a smile, instead i acted nonchalent. 

There was a certain technique the way warm water was splashed onto me. With my eyes closed, i could only imagine water droplets glistening on his biceps as he swirled the kese, a plant used in the process. 



He then put on gloves to scrub me. Many people will not have a pleasant experience as they akin to being sandpapered at this moment. But his touch was firm yet gentle, i do not remember experiencing any pain, only pleasure. 

The last time i lay helpless, with someone bathing me was in Banyan Tree where i had the rainforrest trestment. I remember it was a somewhat uncomfortable feeling because i was lying down while the shower above me was of many nozzles and water was just getting into everywhere that i felt like i was drowning. Every once of my body wanted to jump up to say "let me shower myself".  

Ryan is skilled. As he soaks me intermittedly with water, i just lay there, melting into the marble. Even when he doused my head with water, the water seem to miraclously part the moment it touches my forehead so it runs down my cheeks and not my nose. He would then place his thumbs and wipe away any remaining droplets. I never knew the groove between my cheekbone and eye socket could also be a g-spot.

He whispers in my ear again to turn around, for some loving on my back (ok, he didn't say it like that). With one hand, he pulled at my string and my bikini fell apart. Dangling a lacy, foam-filled cloth, he piled alot of foam on my back and begin a sudsy body massage. I had to suppress a moan. 

He uses the kese afew more times, and it feels like a gentle whip striking my back. He asks if i would like conditioner in my hair, i said yes. Anything to prolong this session. 

Ryan tied back my bikini as he announced the end of my session. I smiled, finding it an irony how men can swiftly remove a bikini but have no clue how to tie one back. He had double-knotted mine. Blinking away the water in my eyes, i sat up and there he was, his wet hair sleeked back. The scrub, wash and massage only took 30 mins but it felt like an eternity. I understood the saying that time stops when you're in love. I was in love with the hammam experience, truly an otherworldy feeling. 

Ali-Mama Hammam at 45 Euros

Hammam Baths

17 Agion Asomaton St & 1 Melidoni St

+302103231073 

A Local's Guide to Barcelona

We had the honour of a gorgeous Spaniard to show us Barcelona, renowned for architecture sculpted by the infamous Gaudi.

A loving friend & gracious host.

Where to Go

I'll skip the usual tourist suspects but what A did was point us to a local market, Mercat de l'Abaceria (less touristy than the one found at La Rambla) which i enjoy very much just taking in the smells, sounds and sights.

Zoom in photo for opening times.

Fish Monger-of-the-year

 We rented bicycles and cycled the city, marveling at architecture and making fun of the some-say-penis, some-say-missile building.

If you want to see a rehearsed flamenco show, there are plenty which any hotel can recommend you. However, if you want an authentic flamenco experience, check out this tight drinking hole Maians on Carrer De Saint Carles. 

I'm not sure if there'll be girls in traditional costumes stamping their feet (if i had balls, they'll shrink) but when we popped out heads in the last time, this was what we saw.

It doesn't cost to have a look, so it may be worthwhile to check it out. The area seem to be home to many small rustic watering holes.

If Ministry of Sound impressed you with its many rooms and deco, then Boca Chica situated in an alley between Rambla de Catalunya and Passeig de Gracia will blow your socks off. A restaurant, (cocktail) bar, lounge and club all rolled into an apartment style, the spectacular design (as you would expect of Barcelona) reeks of luxury and style.

blink and you'll miss the entrance

the bar

the restaurant

It's not necessary to dine in, you can just visit the loo. We all went there because of the toilets. Yes, you heard me right. The FUNCTIONING bathroom located in the basement is a WORKING NIGHTCLUB with an ACTIVE DJ spinning, loos flushing, drinks spilling and sinks running. For once, there is reason for girls to visit the bathroom in an entourage and hanging out longer in the toilet is not for taking a selfie.

Fyi, it does not stink. So go in piss  peace.

Walking around Barcelona is a discovery trail on its own. Keep your eyes peeled for graffiti like these. I collected 5 on Instagram. 

And if you chance upon a Spanish funfair, join in the fun with a game of Bingo! Not understanding a word of Spanish is part of the fun. Pay 1 Euro for a game card / a round, and watch out for the numbers being called. If you score a row horizontally ( i think) faster than anyone else in the crowd, you shout Bingo! The prizes are pretty crappy, random and useless but 8 Euros got us lots of laughter. 

we were the 'last ones standing'

Where to Eat

Because of our local host, we ate at places where the food was to die for. No doubt the most memorable part of the trip were the tapas, paellas and seafood that gave a foodgasm. Even my pants got tighter but it was a sacrifice I willingly made. 

Thirsty travellers
P.S  The Spanish do not drink sangrias. It is NOT a local's drink.

These places do not speak English, be adventurous and endeavour these places. High chance that anything you order is going to hit the right spot. 

Best to make reservations at El Mundial as this tapas bar always has a long queue. Try ordering the croquettes, prawns and baby squids. 

Seafood, noodle and squid ink paellas. 

Not a pretty picture, but the noodle paella is a Barcelona signature. One of the oldest restaurant near the coast that only locals will know, Can Manel serves the best paellas around. Missing Chinese food, i loved the paella noodles!

The octopus drizzled in olive oil and sprinkled with chilli flakes is also orgasmic for octo lovers. 

Caramel custard pudding is a traditional dessert. 

If you are looking for alternative dining, you can try pop-up restaurants.  As if guessing the secret location isn't hard enough, you will also need to try translating over at the Facebook page. Otherwise if successful, you pay 35 Euros for a 3-4 course meal which was a delight making merry with friends.  

Our secret location was in a clothing / furniture store. 

Where to Stay

The fanciest hostel i've ever stayed, i highly recommend Casa Gracia. A stone's throw from Plaza Catalyuna, it is newly furnished, gorgeous and provides the best hostel breakfast spread with alfresco dining. 

My Nice Weekend

I would like to think unsupervised mean NUDE sunbathing.

Spot the topless females.

Ferrochino has indeed dozens of flavours. The most exotic i think, is cactus.
It tastes minty, refreshing but bland. 

Monaco was filled with old men with fast cars and young chicks. 

A Nicoise platter. Vegetable fritters, cold shell fish and anchoives.

Another typical Nicoise dish is meat stuffed vegetable.