Cockiness is a Turn-Off.

Having confidence is one thing, but not knowing humility is another. I have always thought highly of this female model whom shrugs off flattery and compliments. But she turned me off once when i was engrossed  talking to her and she suddenly started waving enthusiastically to something BEHIND me. " Hello me!" she screeched. I turned, and saw her billboard  >_<

Now, i can totally understand if you were excited seeing your billboard for the first time, BUT i knew it wasn't her first time because countless of people have been smsing her and sending her the MMS and emailing her the image. Heck, even if i see her on some magazine, i would keep it and pass it to her.

It's somehow different if you love taking narcissist shots of yourself, posting it up or simply camwhoring (which i am completely guilty of sometimes), but when you start directing people's attention in irrelevant situations (like the above), that is just so cocky! Actually, there're many variations of needing to validate your beauty from others. Some girls who are obviously slim and pretty like to say/ask "i am so fat!" "i am so ugly" or "are you sure it looks good in me?"

However, that can be understood  because girls naturally are less secure about themselves and therefore seek assurance. If a  person starts behaving like everybody worships the ground he/she walks on, that makes him/her ugly in my perspective. That's not confidence, that's being proud and that ain't a compliment.

That's the female example. Now, the male example i encountered....

This friend of mine who is in an incredible good profession, very intelligent and witty, very generous and gentlemanly BUT he just won't stop being cocky!

I regret ever complimenting him on his intelligence and attractiveness ( i believe in giving friends and love ones affirmation but i do not believe in paying lip service). Ok, i said that because he was down at that period having relationship problems and all. What i said was what i really thought and also to cheer him up (it's that bitch's loss etc).

Huge mistake. Ever since then, he's been going "Honey, if you were single, i bet you would jump right on me." or " You know it...you want me." I have male friends who share with me their intimate conquests occassionally. He, i felt he was blowing his own trumpet. Although subtly, because he is well educated to package his words nicely. Because he's a friend whom i value and likes his every other aspect as a person (other than his cockiness), i have been biting my tongue. My tolerance in maintaining politeness is wearing out though. It irks me that he assumes i SO WANNA BE WITH HIM (trust me, i never did mislead him other than to give that compliment on his attractiveness when he was down) and it irks me that he presumes he knows me SO well that even my boyfriend whom i see regularly is still getting to know me better after a year.

I tolerate and grit my teeth. Maybe it's because he's getting hitched. Maybe he is fearful that women will no longer other than that lonesome ONE be validating him. After all, according to his statistics, he had a large number of women. He need to come to terms that will have to end.

It's abit like the following clip below: its a voice message left by Dimitri who after harrassing a girl at a restaurant, she gives him her name card to get him to go away. He left 2 messages. Listen to it.

Its infuriating and hilarious. After googling it, it seems like this is a viral marketing plan to prepare the public for Dimitri The Lover movie in 2010. People are guessing it's going to be Borat style. Now, Dimitri however is a REAL person. Another seduction guru, like i have mentioned before about Neil Strauss (this is real business man!)

This is Dimitri. Now, he is this "incredibly charamastic eccentric disgusting funny charming guy",  His seduction methods are unique and they have documented in this film coming up. His website is highly entertaining (note: better to surf when you're out of public eye) . Now, based on the seduction community and all these guidelines that The Game has set, i wonder how can the peacock method (wear a pink boa or a feather hat) can bring in girls (she will think you've bad dress sense or you just look bad, period) or how can the neg method ( negatively commenting on a girl) can turn her on or how can acting all cocky will get you laid.

Now, i've a few friends who i think are hot yet blush when you compliment them, shrug their shoulders and go all shy on you.

The first is my boyfriend, who declines to have his picture put on the wall-of-fame.

The second is his best friend, its impolite to put up his picture because he is technically not my friend.

The third is my diving buddy. Who looks totally like Dawyne Johnson (wrestler The Rock), including having his body.

Then it's lawyer Toh who i am proud of because i get free legal advice. Also a 2008 Cleo Bachelor finalist, just not very photogenic.

Then it's YM, whom i have one girlfriend already queuing up for an introduction. She saw his photo in my photo album and immediately went "INTRO!!"

Jeremy, the heart throb who had a fan club in high school. I remember on the first day of school, there was alot of whispers going around saying "there's an ang moh, there's an ang moh!" Ang Moh in neighbourhood school is rare mah. I went over thinking "what's the BIG DEAL?!" Then chey...not ang moh lah. Eurasian. Watered down version somemore. Hahahaa..but we became good friends because we were on the same Judo team.

Onisuka looks like a Japanese.

He shaved his eyebrows once and put 3 strokes to it. Now i just can't stop looking at his eyebrows as if something is missing!

I'm not sure if my taste is your taste. They're single and eligible. I shall be their pimp!

And so you see, "a man is more attractive when he is hot but DOESN'T KNOW IT."

Love is a Game.

I hardly do any book reviews. But this book gets me very excited. Its written by Neil Strauss, who turned from a sad sod who has a not-so-exciting job and can-only-wish-to-be-laid to a successful astounding pick-up artist.

Reading his word-for-word account of how men were taught to pick-up girls, and reading all the juicy details of how men work to make women fall at their feet was certainly fun. However, certain tactics, i felt won't work. Like how he teaches men to open (picking up a girl) with a neg. To say something negative. Like, "your 2 front teeth reminds me of Bugs Bunny." His reasoning was, every guy in the room has already probably complimented her on how gorgeous she is, she don't need another. But if you were to neg her, she would be intrigued on why you said the opposite and therefore be drawn. It's like the more you push her away, the more she will want you because every other man is doing the opposite of what you're doing. They're desperate for her attention, whereas you not.

But like my friend (a mixed blood who lived in Singapore most of his life) says, he doubt Neil's pick-up tactics will work in Asia. I agree. True, that it's nothing new if a man compliments me on my dress, my smile, my eyes, my looks in a bar. BUT if he were to neg me, i would think that's totally rude. Nothing else would salvage my first impression of him.

However, his book was just too juicy to read that i couldn't put it down. The last book that i found it hard to let go was Harry Potter.

As i read his first 2 chapters, i was skeptical about the authencity of the book. The disclaimer wrote behind that this is a true story, that all events really happened. He wrote it like fiction, a ploy to spice up non-fiction.

I messaged an acquaintance whose profession is supposedly a date doctor. He told me Neil was a personal friend! Still skeptical about this whole pick-up community existing, i grilled my boyfriend. He was the one who introduced me this book and "swears by it". I still couldn't believe it's true. Then sheepishly, he admitted to attending workshops of the same kind in his teenage years. Pick-up workshops that cost a bomb. Workshops that the "guru" lectures you on social dynamics, work with you on your image then take you to the clubs for practicals after the theory. It was amusing knowing such a community exists!

I googled Neil and look at his before and after picture. Before, he was this thinning hair writer, after deciding to invest learning from a master pick-up artist, he transformed into a tanned sauve scorer.

He didn't turn into a natural good looker like Brad Pitt or Kutcher, but it sure did change his looks a great deal. And according to his tactics, even the ugliest man can sleep with 6 different girls in a week.

This is him now, at 40 years old. I haven't reached the end of the book yet, but i sort of foretell it's going to be an ending with a moral. One of those..."through my passage of playing the game, i found that i could get laid with many girls with these new found tactics. But at the end of the day, these tactics do not teach me how to score a long lasting relationship."

I never liked playing mind games, i prefer things simple and non complicated. Although there're will be less heartbreaks that way, we can't deny the fact that life IS a game. If you do not possess the skills to even pick some one up, how are you going to meet someone which can possibly lead to a long lasting relationship? How can you keep things uphill in your relationship if you stop playing the game of keeping her/his interest?

I picked my boyfriend up.