Most Outrageous Prison Demands

As a student living in Australia, Archie Comics was too expensive to afford. So when ZOO goes on sale at AUD 2, i'm as high as cloud nine. Bless my girlfriend who visited Australia recently and bought me their latest issue complete with a 2012 calender! I soaked up every word within that magazine and i thought i'd spend some effort to copy and paste one of their articles for you.

In Asia's prisons, residents do not get to sleep on beds. Instead they sleep on straw mats (Singapore) or even the floors. I suppose taking away creature comforts are meant to make them repent. However, in Western countries, there is an inmate union where they ask for their rights and appeal for "improvements" within prison.

Julian Knight (Australia) 1987 Hoddle Street shooting spree in Melbourne left 7 dead and 19 injured. As punishment he was sentenced to 27 years in Victoria's Port Philip prison. But Knight reckons prison sucks balls, so he and other members of a prison union, which includes murderer Neil Chalmers and rapist Muhammed Kerbatieh, have banded together to demand a few luxuries. Top of their list are jelly crystals, a better selection of potato chips, and designer sunnies.

They're also demanding 1.25 litre bottles of Coke and more cash for phone calls.

They were successful in getting Gummi Bears in the canteen.

Jonathan Pinney (USA)Violent offender, Jonathan filed a lawsuit against a long list of government agencies because he reckoned his "rights were violated" and he was "falsely imprisoned". As part of his 18-page lawsuit he demanded his own country, "big enough for 5000 people, with good quality soil". He suggested they just give him the state of Alaska. He also wants $50bn and diplomatic immunity so he can do whatever the fark he wants and not get charged. Pinney also, quite rightly wants "access to all scientific advancements made in American institutions, including top-secret ones at facilities including Area 51" and "a treaty of non-aggression between my nation and that of the US and the United Nations.
Last seen on his MySpace page, Pinney wrote, "that he "hopes to get into a committed relationship with a woman, but wouldn't mind if it meant 'leaving this world and marrying an alien with similar autonomy and genetics." 


Luzira Women's Prison, Uganda

The female inmates only have got one thing on their mind and it's not escape. The prison ban conjugal visits, something which the inmates are protesting against. They want their knickers off! Prison boss Johnson Byabasaija rejected their request.

Rose West (UK) Rose and her hubby killed ten girls and a young woman, including their 16-year old daughter. A murderer, rapist and sexual sadist, Rose was sentenced to 10 life sentences in 1995. But in 2007, she demanded an autopsy on her pet guinea pig, Marley. She reckoned her prison enemies were behind the hit and wanted justice. Her request was denied.


Harry Franklin (USA)
Murderer Franklin demanded 3 mil from a Portland TV station for 'mental frustration' after they incorrectly called a 14 wheel tractor trailer an 18 wheeler. He also demanded $8.9 mil from then US President Ronald Reagan for being forced to wear a seatbelt in a car but not on a horse.

Ivan Milat (NSW) 67 year old serial killer was the monster behind the infamous "Backpacker Murders" throughout the 90s where he tortured, raped and murdered young tourists. But in May this year, he started to realise how boring serving seven consecutive life sentences actually was, so he went on a hunger strike in a bid to get a PS3. Milat didn't eat for 9 days, going from a healthy 85kg to 60kg. No, he didn't get his wish.


Nicholas Cocaign (France)

Murderer and cannibal Nic can hold a grudge. In 2007, his cellmate ,Thierry Baudry was washing his hands when he glanced over at Nic. Nic didn't like the glare he got and told Baudry to hand over his lungs as a gesture of apology for offending him. Not surprisingly, he refused. Nic then stabbed Baudry with a scissors and suffocated him with a plastic bag. He then got his wish, cutting out his cellmate's lungs and heart, and eating them. 

Dennis Nilsen (UK)

Serial killer, rapist and necrophiliac, Dennis is doing time for killing and torturing at least 15 men and boys betweek 1978 and 1983. He is using human rights laws to demand porn magazines in his cell. He reckons refusing him hardcore gay porn is "inhuman and degrading."


Meanwhile, here're also some not-so-frivolous lawsuits filed by prisoners:

• Prison Guards routinely sexually assault female prisoners. One officer sexually fondles a prisoner who is receiving medical care in the infirmary, forces her to perform oral sex, then rapes her. Another officer forces a prisoner to perform oral sex while she empties trash as part of a work detail. Women Prisoners v. District of Columbia, D.C. (1994) (post trial order).
• Prisoners restrained in handcuffs and shackles have their heads bashed into walls and floors by prison guards, their bodies repeatedly kicked and hit with batons, their teeth knocked out, their jaws fractured, their limbs broken, and their bodies burned with scalding water. Madrid v. Gomez, Cal. (1995) (post trial order).
• Confined youth are routinely beaten by facility staff, staff trafficking in illegal drugs is rampant, and sexual relations between staff and confined youth is commonplace. D.B. v. Commonwealth, Penn. (1993) (consent decree).
• Dozens of women. some as young as 16, are forced to have sex with prison guards, maintenance workers, and a prison chaplain. Many become pregnant and are coerced by prison staff to have abortions. Cason v. Seckinger, Ga. (1994) (consent decree).
• A 17 year-old boy, in jail for failing to pay $73 in traffic fines, is tortured for 14 hours and finally murdered in his cell by other prisoners. Another teenage had been beaten unconscious by the same prisoners several days earlier. Yellen v. Ada County, Idaho (1985) (consent decree).
• Prison officials ignore warnings by the Commissioner of Health and fail to implement basic tuberculosis detection and control procedures. Over 400 prisoners are infected in a single prison. Austin v. Dept. of Corrections, Penn. (1992) (post hearing order).
• Prison staff engage in sexual relations with female prisoners and allow male inmates to enter the prisons to engage in forcible intercourse with the women prisoners. Hamilton v. Morial, La. (1995) (consent decree pending court approval).
• A prisoner gives birth on the floor of the jail without medical assistance three hours after informing prison staff that she was in active labor. Other prisoners have deformed or stillborn babies as a result of receiving almost no pregnancy-related medical care. Yeager v. Smith and Harris v. McCarthy, Cal. (1989) (consent decree).
• Single person cells house four or five prisoners with mattresses on the floor soaked by overflowing toilets, the drinking water is contaminated with sewage, and prisoners' cells are infested with rats. Carty v. Farrelly, U.S.V.Is. (1994) (consent decree).