Tribute to the Hardcore Bengs

When I lived in Australia, I worked in a Chinese Restaurant. For a long while, I never figured out what B.Y.O imprinted on the glass stands for.

Somehow, I just kept thinking of body odour. Afterall, BO stands for body odour. But it doesn’t sit right. Sure, a Chinese restaurant is full of smells, but certainly it wouldn’t greet its customers with body odour printed at its entrance!

Then it dawned upon me that it stood for Bring Your Own (wine/ alcohol) and the restaurant charges a cockage fee. You hardly see B.Y.O used in Singapore, that’s when licensed restaurants can charge you an exorbitant price for some merry making.

Then, back in my Secondary school days. My crush always joked about going to Hougang chalet. The navie girl I was, I was enthusiastic and said “Let’s go! What are we waiting for?” And everyone will laugh at me, or with me I couldn’t quite figure. I just kept waiting for the Hougang chalet outing to happen.

Little did I know that Hougang chalet stands for IMH, the Institute of Mental Health situated in you guessed it, Hougang. Saying you want to take someone to Hougang chalet suggests she is loony. Ouch! My crush (although he doesn’t know that I had a thing for him) wanted to send me to the crazy house. Oh well, I did fall for a Beng.

So if you’ve always wondered what some acronyms meant during those teenage years when it was used on you, or you’ve passed that age and need to be updated or simply doing a revision on the local slang, read on and add on!

The Ah Bengs started the hokkien terms, and then the netizens cleverly sophisticated lingos with acronyms.

Because you are not studying in the medical school, neither working in a clinic, mentioning vagina or penis in public is just impolite, rude, shameful (whatever). Here’re alternatives to choose from and feign sophistication.

Vagina
1. Abalone
2. Cheese pie
3. Camel Toe (like this picture)

Breasts
1. DNB : Dua Neh Bu (hokkien) = Big Bosom Woman

2. DNN : Dua Neh Neh (hokkien) = Big Bosom

3. Raisin : Nipple

And then for the hum ji (cowards) who want to insult someone but fear their wrath, can use these insults that sound harmless enough. The receiver won’t know what just hit him unless he is just as well-versed in the underworld language as you.
1. ASK : Ah Sia Kia (hokkien) = Rich Kid. This might be a neutral term, but I find that if this is used, it is usually said with disdain that the person is born with a silver spoon in the mouth.

2. Ah Kun : An imaginary friend.

Origin : In the MediaCorp TV Series, Metamorphosis 破茧而出, a character Jin Yong Jian suffers from split personality disorder. Yong Jian refers to his split personality as Ah Kun.

3. ASW : Attention Seeking Whore

4. ATB : Ah Tiong Bu (possibly racist) = China Woman

5. Transformer: transsexual

6. BBM : Broke Back Mountain= homosexuals

7. Beethoven : 背多分 (chinese) = Back scores more points = The back view (of a person) is more attractive than the front. (Nothing to do with the musician in any way)

8. Cannon Fairy : (chinese, Cannon = 大炮, Fairy = 仙) = Someone who is full of hot air, talks big with no substance.
9. Robert : A person who 1) overpays for something, 2) pays for something not worthwhile, 3) pays for something he's not expected to.

Origin : Comes from the chinese/hokkien saying "砍菜头".

菜头 = Radish = 萝卜

萝卜 sounds like "Robert"

Just in case you want to skive, but afraid to be found out. I.E sending an email/ MSN to your working friend because you’re too stingy to SMS yet cautious about your boss checking your emails and history at the back-end, you use:

1. AJZM : Ai Jiat Zua Mai (hokkien) = Want to eat snake? (literally) = Want to skive?
Or if you want to get it on, but you’re just to shy to say the word SEX. You can use:

1. ASGM : Ai Sio Gan Mai (hokkien) = Want to have sex?

But you are not embarrassed to make the sound of sex.

2. APPM : Ai Piak Piak Mai (hokkien)

You know how sometimes when you’re out with your friends and they are unaware that their zip is open or that their butt crack is showing? You can’t possibly shout across the room and embarrass that friend right? So you try:

1. BCC : Better Cover Car-chng
Then again, it could also mean to cover your ass, wipe your tracks.

The famous ones:

1. BHB : Buay Hiao Bai (hokkien) = Do not know what ugliness is = Feels no shame or embarrassment.
We used this ALOT in Secondary School.

2. BTSS : Bian Tai Shu Shu (chinese) = Perverted uncle.
3. Self-Pwn : To kill/humiliate yourself, to punch yourself in the face.

When you want to speak and spell like a Baby:

1. Buwee: Bully

2. Dip Dip : Deep Deep = Very much, a lot, deeply. Frequently used together with "Lub" (love). Eg. I lub chiu dip dip.

3. Fish Seller: Selfish

4. Perbird : Pervert

5. Pew Pew Pew : Sound of laser weapons firing.

6. Prawn : Porn

7. Smelly : Smiley ( I am really not insulting you, just showing some love…)

When you want to bypass the forum’s censor system:

1. Bus3rd : bastard

2. Sofa King : A creative way of writing "So F**king".

Very similar, DO NOT MIX UP.

1. BRB : We’ve always known this as Be Right Back. But it could also mean Bath Room Break. This is what it means predominantly in forums where pictures of sexually appealing girls or boys are posted.

2. CMI: Cannot Make It. Usually means that someone is very ugly or has bad fashion sense.

3. CIM: Come in Mouth (used in a sexual context)

Then there are the ones that make absolutely NO SENSE.

1. Claypot : Opposite of jackpot

4. Climb : Climb Bukit Timah Hill

5. Horse : 马 = 码 = Code = Mosaic. Relates to pornographic materials.

6. LPPL : Lan Pah Pah Lan (hokkien) = Caught in both directions = Bang balls

7. NPNT: No Pic No Talk

8. NMP3NT : No MP3 No Talk

Ok, no picture no talk, I can understand. But MP3????!!?

That’s not the end.

9. NPHTT : No Picture/Proof How To Talk

10. NPJTT : No Picture/Proof Just Talk Talk
11. KC Trap : Kum Cheng Trap = Feelings Trap.

Refers to a situation where a man falls for a woman (typically a prostitute), and pays dearly for it (monetarily and emotionally).

And don’t be ignorant and think these are brands:

1. HMV : Home Made Video

2. PDF : Paedophile

And the real long mouthfuls:

1. MKLGHLG : Mai Ka Li Gong Hor Li Gian (hokkien) = Don't want to tell you, let you yearn for it

2. MKLTWS : Meng Kia, Long Tio Wu Siah (hokkien) = Literally "Don't be scared, if hit got sound". Use to tell someone to do things boldly.

Origin : Probably originated from the army, when a tonner driver is carefully reversing his vehicle and people sitting at the back will shout out the phrase to get the driver to reverse boldly.

3. NBNBNLM : No Boobies No Beauty Nobody Love Me (usually used by females)

4. NMNHNLM : No Money No Honey Nobody Love Me (usually used by males)

And finally the ones used in Army:

1. MYOB : Mind Your Own Business
2. NATO : No Action Talk Only
5. MIA: Missing in Action
6. AWOL: Action Without Official Leave

Parents, you can never know everything.

Parents-to-be, now you know something.

Compiled with help from hardwarezone.com