No Photoshop, just Instagram

@chrispytine on Twitter and Instagram

Monday, December 5, 2011

Movie Review: Twilight, Breaking Dawn

As I watched the latest installment of Twilight, it dawned upon me that Bella, the female lead, demonstrates necrophilia and bestiality.
This is an old poster but demonstrates better.
As the latest installment Breaking Dawn speaks about how impossible made possible when Edward the vampire impregnated Bella. It got me Googling on a Sunday night if that is humanely possible, that is...if you can get pregnant with a corpse's sperm or if sperm can survive out of a host.

No, you cannot get pregnant if a man ejaculates into the bathtub and you happen to step in after him. Otherwise it will be big trouble when it's customary for Japanese families to share Ofuros, where the youngest in the family will use the hot tub after the eldest have bathed. Imagine, great grand father impregnating grand daughter?!?

You also cannot get pregnant if you swallow his sperm.

BUT there's a grieving mum who harvested her son's sperm in 2009 for a grandchild after he died in a tragic bar fight. Here's a video that summarizes succinctly.


In July 2011, the mum rejoiced to have found a surrogate mother from Mexico after paying USD 29,000. Texas law which rules over her and her son grants the next-of-kin the right to dispose of the body, which includes harvesting organs and semen is merely another tissue. While i am somewhat relieved for the grieving mother (for you can never understand her pain), ethically, it's gonna get messy.

It's already messed up enough to have a child born out of the wedlock or a child caught in a divorce, but imagine the trauma the child will get when he/she learns more about his/her origins as a replacement child. Should the child even call Marissa Evans his/her mother or grandmother?

What about teaching the young child about the birds and the bees?

Child: How did i come about?
Marissa: Well, your real mummy is from Mexico and your daddy is in Heaven. He didn't conceive you when he's alive, and your parents never had sex.

The shy school teachers are already having a hard time explaining sex, this is going to make it even harder.

Movies may be fantasies, but writers' inspirations stem from some truth. So, it's true that sperm from a corpse can be potent. Thus, the plot of Breaking Dawn.

I dived a little further, to search for the truth of a sperm's life span out of its host.

Came up Boris Becker. A famous German tennis player who allegedly accused a Russian woman of stealing his sperm after a blow job in a restaurant's linen closet.
Famous tennis player Boris Becker.
7 months down the road when Angela Ermakowa politely and sensitively faxed him a letter in code saying, " Dear Mr Becker, you will recall a promotional project we discussed in Nobu, London, on June 30, 1999. The project is quite advanced and is scheduled for launch at the end of next month. It would be really good to hear your comments and thoughts for possible participation. Perhaps you could call."


The allegations then start against Angela saying that it was merely a blowjob that night and she must have kept the sperm in her mouth before inseminating with her fingers into her vagina to impregnate herself, a possible ploy by the Russian mafia.

While the allegations are wild, sperm in fact can be inseminated using fingers or syringes from anywhere outside the vagina. Dr Steve Brody, of the Advanced Fertility Institute of San Diego says that, "when sperm is ejaculated, it's a gel-like viscous substance. Within 5-15 minutes it liquifies. This gel phase is probably a mechanism to protect the sperm cells in the initial phase of ejaculation. No one knows for sure why it comes out like this. It's only after it liquifies that it becomes mobile."

Which means that sperm can take 30 minutes to get going and that sperm in a test tube is still moving between 8 and 24 hours after a sample has been given. It has been proven to work as a paternity trap whereby a British telecom executive finds himself 67,000 pounds (child support) & 20,000 pounds (legal fees) poorer after a one night stand where the woman admits retrieving a discarded condom while he was in the shower.

Then there was Emile Frisard, who went to the courts of Louisiana, seeking for justice only to have the case ruled not in his favour. A nurse at the hospital where Emile's mother was admitted offered to give him oral sex, provided he wore a condom. Usually it's a downer to wear a rubber , especially for oral sex since pregnancy is out of the question. You'd think Emile will reject since there won't be much of a "feeling" right? Wrong. As men predictably think with their head down-south, he took up the offer.

The nurse later attempted to inseminate herself in the hospital's bathroom.

Then, there was the case in Alabama where a man was forced to pay support even though he was passed out drunk at the time of sexual intercourse. The man collapsed on a bed at a woman's house and awoke the following morning with his pants off and a woman standing in the bedroom doorway "toweling off". A witness who had been at the party testified that two months, the woman boasted that she had sex with the man while he was passed out and that it had "saved her a trip to the sperm bank".

A doctor testified that a man can achieve an erection and ejaculate even when inebriated to the point of unconsciousness.

While it seems like it is contestable with regards to who owns a man's sperm and debatable on gender equality, while the men are suing these women for the "conversion of property", the women retort back with claiming the men "surrenders any right of possession to his semen when he transferred it during voluntary sexual intercourse."

As for Boris and Angela's story, after paternity tests proving the child to be the German's, Boris gave way to a 2 million pounds settlement. With the settlement, he wants to put to rest the speculation the method of conceiving.
Russian fling Angela with Boris's love child who strikes an undeniable resemblance.
Once you shoot, it's no longer your load. When in doubt about the intentions of a girlfriend or a girl at a bar, stay celibate otherwise you may want to stick with a dozen roses. As egoistic men may say their semen is a gift, this may become a gift that keeps on taking.

That's my movie review, i hope you enjoyed reading it.

The above post is re-written after reading many sources, one of whom is written by Sam Jemielity of Playboy.com

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...